It is consistently first with Hollywood news, one headline scoop following another: Church of Scientology turns to Craigslist to find new wife for Tom Cruise; CIA thwarts terrorist plot to blow up the Kardashians; paedophiles across country take up gardening after seeing Disney's The odd life of Timothy Green.
Its eyes are everywhere, its sources impeccable, an A-list of stars and studio executives with jaw-dropping testimony about the latest ructions and scandals in showbusiness.
Except that it's all fake. Welcome to Hollywood & Swine, a satirical blog fast becoming the entertainment industry's funniest and least reliable news source.
The brainchild of two anonymous screenwriters, the site's concocted stories have rained mockery on an industry famous for self-regard and pushed boundaries of humour and taste.
"The key is to do something so funny that you can get away with being tasteless," said one of the duo, who spoke to the Guardian on condition identities not be revealed. "We're not really afraid of anybody, but the anonymity gives us freedom." They have day jobs writing pitches and scripts and write the blog on the side.
Launched in January, Hollywood & Swine has a devoted following of Hollywood insiders and spawned a guessing game over the duo behind it. Only a handful know their identities.
The interview took place in their managers' office near Hollywood, both men sipping San Pellegrino water.
Inspired by the satirical magazine the Onion, the site's name is a pun on Hollywood and Vine, a famous intersection of entertainment industry businesses and the Walk of Fame. Its subtitle reads: "so many pigs … so little time".
"We read the news and trades every day and put our own spin on it," said the older writer, a 50-something Hollywood veteran who grew up on Woody Allen films. He does most of the design. His writing partner, a 30-something who grew up on Judd Apatow and Will Ferrell, does most of the jokes.
"When a big budget movie is really bad, or bombs, that's the most fun to write about," said the younger. "We don't pick so much on the small indie ones."
Universal's $200m flop about the US navy fighting aliens generated a much retweeted headline: "Paralyzed woman regains use of her legs after 25 years in a wheelchair; walks out of Battleship." The story quoted the woman: "It truly was a miracle. Otherwise I would've had to sit through another hour of that movie."
The Church of Scientology's alleged auditions for Tom Cruise's wife spawned the joke about turning to Craigslist. "Must be ages 20-30, extremely beautiful and taller than me. Belief in aliens a plus," runs the mock ad.
The writers skirted controversy with a story about Jerry Sandusky, the former football coach and convicted child molester, being placed on suicide watch after missing the Teen Choice awards. "It's the only day of the year when I like giving teens a choice," Sandusky was quoted saying.
They did it again with a story about paedophiles flocking to Home Depot seeking "Timothy Green seeds" after Disney's film of a couple who inadvertently grow a 10-year-old boy in their yard.
Hollywood woke up to the site in March when it reported Starbucks was banning screenwriters from 19,435 locations worldwide because a study showed screenwriters spent a pittance and had "a depressing and desperate air about them that spoils everyone else's experience".
The story, replete with indignant quotes from Chris Keyser, head of the Writers Guild of America, fooled many into thinking it was real. It garnered more than 41,000 Facebook shares and was retweeted 4,100 times.
Commenters scoffed at Hollywood's alarm. "The fact that half y'all don't know this is a joke is pretty telling. This is why I don't go to the movies. Ha!"
That story put the site on the industry's radar, said the elder writer. "It's like lightning in a bottle. You can't do it every day, but you try." About 70% of readers work in the industry, they estimate.
Senior industry figures have been known to sneak looks at Hollywood & Swine on their phones during meetings, he said. Writer friends who did not know he was behind it forwarded him its stories.
The actor and filmmaker Ed Burns is one of the few celebrities to publicly respond to a skewering ("Edward Burns Reveals He's Been Secretly Writing and Directing Movies for the Past 10 Years."), telling the Los Angeles Times: "It was mean-spirited, but I got a good chuckle out of it. It was very funny."
Oliver Mayer, a playwright and associate professor of dramatic writing at the University of Southern California, said the site was refreshing. "When Hollywood gets pious, then it's high time for satire. Los Angeles is rife with self-importance, and this is a bit of an antidote. … We ought to be able to laugh at mega-hyped box office returns, overpraise from film critics, self-important movies and celebrity cults. Not laughing is dangerous. This blog is therapy for the practitioner and the audience member."
Marlene Forte, who stars in Dallas, said the industry needed to laugh more. "I know there is some very then skin out there, but too bad. Thin skin doesn't have a long life in this business!"
The lack of witchhunt for the blogs' clandestine writers suggests Hollywood may have a thicker skin than imagined. Having started it as an experiment the duo now hope the site will gain advertising revenue from studios chasing Oscar and Emmy awards.
If they succeed in spinning off a daily television show – a sort of cross between Entertainment Tonight and the Colbert Report which they are pitching to networks – the writers may find themselves in the limelight rubbing shoulders with their victims. "We're not worried," said the older member of the team. "I think most people have a good sense of humour." He paused. "I hope."
