So Germany have triumphed over Argentina at the World Cup, and the "summer of sport" is almost over. But never fear, as your sleep patterns readjust to life without extra time and the anguish of penalties, here are five things to look forward in the next few months.
Gone Girl
I read Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl over a breathless few days in 2012 and immediately set about casting it in the multiplex of my mind. Luckily, other people also recognised its cinematic possibilities and urged Flynn to write a script, with David Fincher directing. The cast might be all wrong – Ben Affleck as Nick Dunne? Not in a world where Bradley Cooper lives and smirks! – and the first trailer was odd (not in a good way) but it's redeemed itself with the second trailer. It's out on 3 October, but if that's not up your street, how about They Came Together, a send-up of romcoms, starring Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd? It looks reassuringly silly.
Eid!
It's not relevant to everyone, granted. This year's Ramadan has fallen in the warmest months of the year. They've also been the longest days of the year. So Eid will feel extra treat-like this year. There are few things in life as enjoyable as the spread of an Eid feast; if you can tag along with a Muslim friend, get in there. And don't forget to bring along empty an Tupperware or two to take home some extras. I'm going to my parents' with about four large containers. If I do it right, I shan't have to cook for at least a week.
The Strain
What's Guillermo del Toro been up to since Pacific Rim? He's only been writing and directing The Strain, a TV show about the outbreak of "an ancient and evil strain of vampirism" in New York City. It stars Corey Stoll (the doomed congressman in Netflix's House of Cards) as Dr Ephraim Goodweather, head of the Centre for Disease Control, who is investigating the strain and fighting for humanity itself. It might be great or it might be tosh. But at least more of us will be able to decide, since it'll be aired on Watch, not Sky Atlantic. And any TV show with a character named Dr Ephraim Goodweather is worth your time.
Simon Rich at Book Slam
Yes, it's in London – I can only apologise for this – but I am very excited that Simon Rich (author of the short story collection The Last Girlfriend on Earth and the genuinely hilarious story Sell Out, which did well on the internet last January) is coming to read in the UK. Rich is one of the youngest ever writers on Saturday Night Live and has written for Pixar, and it's all so sickening because he did all this before the age of 30. His new book of stories, Spoiled Brats, is out in August, but you can read Sell Out for free on the New Yorker right now, and if you don't cry laughing I'll eat my shorts.
More sport
If you're not ready to relinquish the sight of ultrafit people doing ultrafit things on your telly you're in luck, because the summer of sport continues. In fewer than 10 days the Commonwealth Games will begin in Glasgow and you can fill your boots with its riches. August will bring about the Women's Rugby World Cup (England are in Pool A along with Spain, Canada and Samoa). And on 16 August, the Premier League season starts up once more, so really, more football is only around the corner – and at more reasonable times than it was seen in Brazil.
