James Walsh and Guardian readers 

A Lee Sharpe cardboard cut-out and a papal visit bus-pass: your weirdest memorabilia

They may not own up to any UKIP ties or teacake costumes, but our readers were happy to admit to owning an array of tat
  
  

A Prince of Wales and Lady Diana Spencer tea tray.
A Prince of Wales and Lady Diana Spencer tea tray. Photograph: Jane Rolink/GuardianWitness Photograph: Jane Rolink/GuardianWitness

Merchandise has been in the news recently, from the array of UKIP-related merchandise being readily snapped up from that party’s website, to the sale of Commonwealth Games props, including a Tunnock’s teacake costume which sold for £1,605.

We asked Guardian readers for their own tales of pointless memorabilia purchases - and we weren’t disappointed. From royal tat to life-size cardboard cut-outs of forgotten footballers, here are ten of the best.

1) A set of Big Brother playing cards

“I am ashamed to admit I own the deck of playing cards from the very first Big Brother house. My only defence is that the money went to charity, and I think they cost about £12. No idea what happened to them, doubt they’d be worth 12p now!”

2) A papal visit bus-pass from Toronto

Catholicism is a world-leader in producing spectacular kitsch, but this is endearingly banal.

“Back in the 80s I spent a few weeks in Toronto visiting relatives. Another slightly more heralded visitor was due in the city a few days after I left - Pope John Paul II. So that people could get around during his visit the Transit Commission was selling commemorative bus/subway passes with the Pope’s image and the Vatican crest, valid for the days of his visit. Even though I wasn’t going to be there when the pass was usable, it seemed too good an opportunity for a very lapsed Catholic like myself to pass up. I still have it to this day. Very possibly the tackiest thing I own.”

3) A well-used Charles and Diana plate

Countless thousands must have royal wedding merchandise squirrelled away in their cupboards, but Jane Rolink has got her money’s worth from her collection, which includes “an awfully cheap and tacky plate commemorating Charles & Diana’s wedding. Very well used as you can see.”

“I use it as a meat plate.”

4) A bag made from a tablecloth from the Beckhams’ wedding

“I have a velvet lavender bag made from one of the tablecloths at the Beckhams’ wedding. My mum used to work with the florist’s mum and she made these lavender bags from off cuts.

“I’ve also got a couple of Four Poofs and a Piano T shirts - the ones they used to wear on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross with the guests’ faces on. One of them smells of male deodorant.”

5) A life-size cardboard cut-out of Lee Sharpe

And from one Manchester United player to another...

“I had a Lee Sharpe [cardboard cut-out] complete with a stand and a little circle of AstroTurf which the Leeds Utd shop gave me for free when he left the club. I suspect it now lives in my Dad’s attic with lots more junk.”

6) A Nicholas Witchell Royal Creamer

We also heard from a purveyor of tat, rather than a purchaser. This commenter claims to have produced a limited series of Nicholas Witchell creamers, to celebrate the long career of the BBC’s chief royal-watcher. Watch the video and judge for yourself.

“Unaccustomed as I am to self promotion, I did produce a Nicholas Witchell Royal Creamer to coincide with the wedding of the Duke of Cambridge.

“Unfortunately there were no takers.”

7) A large selection of unwanted Mel Gibson memorabilia

“My inventive and prank-loving best friend decided to start buying me loads of Mel Gibson memorabilia, even though I have never, at any time in my life, expressed any appreciation for Mel Gibson or his work, or for that matter any opinion of any kind. The collection now stands at one framed picture from Mutiny On The Bounty, one framed selection of original movie slides, two bookmarks (both containing original movie slides, one each from Braveheart and Mad Max), a mug, a t-shirt and a Newcastle United top with ‘Mel Gibson’ on the back where the players name should be. Sadly I don’t think this will be where my collection stops.”

8) A large badge with the 80s logo for TV show The Bill

The Bill theme tune, as heard in 1988

“I have a large badge with the 80s logo for TV show The Bill, displaying the title and that silhouette of a policeman’s head. I would say i bought it somewhere, years ago, but in all honesty, I was stood in a beergarden, drunk and found it on the ground in about 2007. I often wonder who lost it but instantly forget their sad loss as it’s the possibly the coolest thing I’ve ever found on the floor and now it’s MINE!!”

9) A button from Hubert Humphrey’s presidential campaign

Hubert H. Humphrey never did become president of the United States, but that doesn’t stop our reader being proud of owning his button.

“I have an amazing collection of pins and buttons (started when I was very young), that include a button from Hubert Humphrey’s Presidential campaign, a button that says ‘Jefferson Airplane Loves You’ and a pin from the Queen’s coronation.”

10) A piece of Morrissey’s shirt

The final item on our list may not be considered tat by all. In fact, some more obsessive fans of The Smiths may think this more akin to the turin shroud.

“A piece of Morrissey’s shirt he wore whilst performing with The Smiths at Glastonbury 1984. Our mate got to the front as he threw the shirt into the crowd. This is the piece he got and gave to us being huge Smith’s fans!”

 

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