Do you mean America? Oddly enough, that's exactly what Google asked me. You're not an algorithm, are you?
Not as far as I know. Good. And no, I mean Amercia.
OK. Age: Just created.
Motto: Land of the fee.
Appearance: Confused.
It's a misspelling of America, presumably? How clever of you.
So what's the big deal? Well, the fact that the person responsible for the misspelling wants to be president of Amercia.
America. That too.
Mitt Romney? Ronmey, I think we now prefer to call him.
What happened? To coincide with Ronmey winning the Texas primary and thus securing the Republican nomination, his campaign launched an "I'm with Mitt" iPhone app that allowed users to take a photograph and then superimpose one of 14 different phrases over it before posting the picture on to Facebook or emailing it to a friend.
Sounds like the sort of thing that passes for politics these days. "We thought this would be a fun, easy way to showcase support," said Zac Moffatt, the Ronmey campaign's digital director.
So what was the problem? One of the 14 stock phrases that appeared alongside "I'm with Mitt" was "A better Amercia". Ronmey is now a national laughing stock.
Twitter sensation, Tumblr phenomenon, unamusing online picture galleries, chortling among shockjocks, phone-ins on local radio stations in South Dakota, etc, etc? Try to treat this potentially game-changing event a little more seriously please.
Who designed the app, Dan Quayle? Ah, a joke for older readers. Quayle was the elder George Bush's running mate in the 1992 presidential election, and at a spelling bee in New Jersey managed to change a 12-year-old's spelling of "potato" to "potatoe". The Republicans lost the election, and Quayle was never heard of again. An omen?
Ronmey's favourite movie: Once Upon A Time in Amercia.
Ronmey's favourite TV show: Good Morning Amercia on the CAB network.
Ronmey's favourite song: Amercian Pie by Don McLean.
Ronmey's campaign slogan: "Read my lips: no new Texas."
Ronmey's hopes of winning the presidency: In Amercia, probably quite high. In America, nil.
Not to be confused with: Franz Kafka's Amerika.
Don't say: God Bless Amercia.
Do say: Dog Bless America.
