Intriguing tail

HarperCollins has acquired the memoirs of Uggie, the dog in The Artist. Uggie: My Story will be published in October. It is unclear whether this is ghosted or whether the pooch will pen his own version at a later date.

Widdewatch

Not to be outdone by Lembit Opik's wrestling antics, Ann Widdecombe makes her (non-singing) operatic debut at the Royal Opera House tonight. Would like to see them duet. Or bout.

New black

More Simon Cowell revelations. To avoid a minimalist cliche, his preferred toilet roll is black. Ha! Not so fancy. You too can get the loo/k: six rolls for £7 from Amazon.

Scarf crazy

Spotted: scarf-shoes and scarf-bags, while the scarf-scarf goes from strength to strength. Finding this all a bit fussy.

Quiffs

Same one spotted on Joey Barton and Alex Turner. Is the PR they share, Anton Brookes, behind this??