Don't be coy. The Guardian isn't afraid of rude words. It's not a rude word.

Then spell it out: Sorry, it's been banned.

Why? I can't tell you that.

This could be a very short pass notes then. I could always tell you about the success of the five-year plan for aluminium production in Shanxi province instead.

Ah, a Chinese story. Something about Chinese censorship? Possibly.

I could always Google it. No you couldn't. The Chinese state censors have excised all references to the word from what is apparently called the sinosphere.

For God's sake, this isn't bleedin' China. Just say the word. OK, OK. It's …

Yes? Ferrari.

And what's the big deal about Ferrari? A young man was killed in Beijing over the weekend when he smashed his Ferrari into a bridge, and the Chinese authorities have clamped down on all web speculation about who he might be.

Hardly earth-shattering. It has become deeply symbolic. Before the clampdown, the sinosphere was rife with rumour that he was the son of a party official. Bo Guagua, son of the recently disgraced Bo Xilai, was named initially; then speculation turned to the illegitimate son of politburo member Jia Qinglin. China's middle classes, who earn about £10 a day, want to know how the children of party bosses can get a car worth $200,000 (£126,000).

All seems a bit dull to me. What sort of Ferrari was it? Is that relevant?

I'd just like to know. It has been variously reported to be an F430 and an F458 Spider.

Well we need to nail this. I think you're missing the point.

The F458 replaced the F430 in 2009. It's sleeker and sportier, and has a 4.5-litre V8 engine with direct fuel injection. The Spider has a retractable hardtop roof made of … Can you shut up please. This is a significant story about the faltering emergence of Chinese democracy, not Top Gear.

Also you wouldn't get an F458 Spider for $200,000. You'd be looking at $260,000 at least. Oh, I give up. All references to Ferrari are henceforth banned!