· In a significant departure from our usual form, we begin with a show business scoop and this exclusive interview with Woody Allen (printed in full). Woody was spotted loitering behind the Guardian's Farringdon Road offices yesterday afternoon and, after falling downstairs in our dash outside, our opening question established that the ageing director was "doing a recce" for sites to feature in his next film. There's no title yet (they just call it "The Project") but by the time we got answers to those two icebreakers Woody had lost interest and began walking away. No time, then, to ask how Mia is, or pose any of those awkward questions that got Michael Parkinson into trouble (something about adoption, and Parky has shied away from asking any tough ones since) so instead we feebly pleaded for a part in his next film. The request drew a smile from Woody and a swift rejection from a minder (it's show business, after all, not show friends). "I'm sorry but we don't have any journalists," she squirmed. Nor do we.
· Back on our usual beat and it's always a pleasure to reacquaint ourselves with old friends, particularly David Dumigan, finance director of Brighton and Sussex University Hospitals Trust. You may recall the catalogue of triumphs at the trust's Princess Royal (located in the heart of Fatty "Nicholas" Soames' constituency), which have included spending £3.5m on agency nurses in four months as well as David devising a cunning plan 18 months ago to cut debts from £4.7m to £400,000. The scheme involved startling lateral thinking such as "opening all the beds for the first time" and making sure the "trust is working ... to manage money available to it". Genius, so there's little surprise in the Mid-Sussex Times report that the trust is now £34m in debt and jobs must go. "If we can't make the savings the prospect is that someone else may be invited to make the savings instead of the board," admits David, with admirable candour. We can think of one cut, immediately.
· Still no word from Robert Kilroy-Silk. We're getting worried now, Robert.
· With Sir Malcolm Rifkind already up and running in the Tory leadership battle and Kenneth Clarke teasing us all, is that the end of the old guard fancying a pot shot? Apparently not, at least according to one well-known Tory (and you'll understand why he insists on remaining anonymous after reading these postprandial mutterings). "It is only convention which says that the leader has to be a member of parliament," he begins. "Theoretically he could come from the House of Lords." Golly! Hezza and Hurd II? Quite possibly the most ludicrous suggestion since, well, Iain Duncan Smith.
· Speaking of which, we are keen to get to know all the candidates a little better, but begin with a question: does the good Dr Liam Fox really think he can out-action Tory action man David Davis? Those rather pathetic shots of him hanging off Guy's hospital at the weekend merely remind everybody of the better stories about his (possible) rival for the top job, and yesterday yet another tale of Davis derring-do was doing the rounds. In his diaries, Alan Clark describes his own habit of forcing trembling visitors to walk the high battlements of his castle, and he fondly remembers Davis as one who vaulted across without a care. Which raises the question: is Davis Clark's preferred candidate from beyond the grave?
· Another one chalked up for the law of unintended consequences. Colin Inglis, who you'll remember as the Humberside councillor behind Hull's plans for a giant city-centre BBC news screen, made an appearance on the one at King's Cross last week. It informed commuters how Colin had just been questioned by police on child abuse allegations (which he has always denied).
