'Which Lie Did I Tell?' the screenwriter William Goldman's brilliant book about Hollywood, contains a story about a movie that flopped. The author of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and The Princess.
Bride admits that it was his passion for red wine that led him to write The Year of the Comet, a romantic comedy about a bottle of 1811 Chper thousandteau Lafite-Rothschild.
So far, so plausible.
But Goldman's interest wasn't shared by the film's paltry audiences. At a first public screening, he watched, horrified, as half of the cinema walked out. Why did it bomb? 'This was a movie about red wine,' he says, 'and the movie-going audience today has zero interest in red wine. They felt ignorant and they hated us.'
That was in 1992. Fast forward 13 years and there are two films showing about wine in UK cinemas this month. Mondovino, a documentary, opened to some good reviews before Christmas, while Sideways, a feature film, will be with us on 28 January and has already done well in the States.
The first of the two films is the more serious. It's very much director Jonathan Nossiter's take on the world of wine - Australia isn't mentioned, for instance - and as such it's highly subjective and told with an American slant. Nossiter doesn't actually say so, as there is no voice-over or presenter, but he is clearly opposed to globalisation and big business and in favour of more individual growers.
It's a shame, therefore, that the people he chooses as his villains are so poorly suited to his purposes. There are worse characters in the world of wine than the Mondavi family (whose business, get this, was recently taken over by the world's largest wine company, Constellation Wines) and the French-based oenologist, Michel Rolland. Rolland consults all over the world and, the film implies, makes a standardised product, but he's a brilliant winemaker, which is more than can be said for some of the people in Mondovino who argue that wine has lost its soul.
There are some amusing moments in the film, particularly if you like dogs, but it's not a great documentary. I've seen it twice now and I came away thinking it had pulled its punches. There is a lot to be truly critical of in the world of wine, as well as a lot to celebrate, but in the end the film does neither. It meanders along for over two hours without any direction, making Fahrenheit 9/11 look like Le Chagrin et la Piti.
If you want a few more laughs, Sideways is a funny account of two middle-aged men coming to terms with their lot. The film is set in Santa Barbara wine country in the week before Jack, one of the male leads, gets married. His slightly geeky friend, Miles, who disapproves of Jack's pre-nuptial philandering, is a not-very-convincing wine buff, who loves Château Cheval Blanc but hates Cabernet Franc, a bit like those who people who say they adore Chablis, but can't stand Chardonnay.
There are some painterly shots of Californian vineyards, a hilarious scene in a tasting room with a spit bucket and a good deal of talk about wine, as the two female leads are 'into' the subject, too. But wine is the backdrop to the film, not its subject. Still, the fact that American audiences loved Sideways is a good sign in the current puritanical climate. It's also good news for William Goldman.
Maybe someone should re-release The Year of the Comet.
Best cellars
Three wines to sit and enjoy in front of the television.
2004 Villa Maria Private Bin Pinot Gris, East Coast (£6.99, Waitrose)
If you're as bored as I am by most Italian Pinot Grigio, then unscrew a bottle of this soft, peachy, aromatic, honeyed white from New Zealand. It's full of flavour, but has more than enough acidity for balance.
2003 Winemaker's Lot Cabernet Sauvignon, La Protectora Vineyard (£9.99, Majestic, £8.49 if you buy two)
Conchay Toro's winemaker's lot series has taken the company to another level. This graceful Chilean Cabernet has fine, elegant tannin and notes of mint, cherry and blackcurrant.
2003 Barossa Semillon, Torbreck (£12.50, Fortnum & Mason, 020 7734 8040)
The Hunter Valley is the best place to grow Semillon in Australia, but the Barossa isn't far behind. Made at a winery famous for its reds, this is a pepper spice-scented white with flavour to spare.
