Watching this holiday-release commercial tweenie nightmare is like spending Saturday morning in Claire's Accessories with a migraine.

It's a promo vehicle for S Club, the six chart-toppers who one day find that their identities have been usurped by clones: "popbots" with no belly buttons.

Sadly, the "real" S Club are utterly undistinguishable from the soulless robots. If it were deliberate, this irony would be a brilliant satire on the world of manufactured pop. But it isn't.