Unless you have been hiding in a bunker, you probably know about instant messaging (IM). You may not know exactly why it is replacing email for those who use it often, and outperforming the good old telephone in many respects. Here then, is a quick foundation course.
1) The first thing you need is a Chat client (the program you use to make and sustain contact with friends and strangers alike). There are four main options (Yahoo, MSN, IRQ and AOL) - all free downloads and varying strengths and weaknesses. King of the hill currently is Yahoo Messenger, which is why it is used here. To download, go to http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com and select the right option for your system. Because these downloads are quite small, you can either save them or open them from the host location, in which case the program will install and run automatically.
2) Once installed, a deceptively empty new window will pop up, inviting you to add contacts to your Friends list. The problem with IM is that clients tend to be mutually exclusive, meaning an MSN pal cannot chat to an AOL one unless they are both running the same client. Assum ing your friends are using Yahoo, simply click the add friend icon and enter their email address or Yahoo identity. You can register for a Yahoo ID (allowing you to receive Yahoo email and post profile details) by registering at Yahoo. While this is not essential to using IM, if you frequent the Yahoo chatrooms, it can be helpful to check someone's profile.
3) Whether or not your friend is online you can send them IMs by double-clicking on their name in the Messenger window. Imagine IM as a partyline - as friends log on, you will hear a sound indicating their entry into the "room", whereupon you can text-chat to them, or use the icons at the top of the chat window to enable a voice call (you will need a full duplex soundcard and a mike), send them a small file (a picture or document for instance) or even use a webcam. There are set-up wizards for both webcams and voice chat, which should fine-tune the devices to your satisfaction - although, if you are unsure, stick to text only until you know your way around.
4) Text chat is enormous fun but can be dull to look at. To compensate, all chat clients allow the use of emoticons (click the smiley-face icon in the chat window or see Shorthand table, above). Yahoo has a great new gimmick called IMVironments, which are basically interactive wallpapers. Click the IMV icon at the bottom of the screen for a range of amusing or cute new backdrops, including the excellent Yahoo Fighter.
5) An alternative way to find friends is to head to the chatrooms (select Chat in the main Messenger window and pick a room), although here the problems start. Female users can find themselves bombarded by strange men making improper suggestions, and the only way to stop this is to ruthlessly manage your preferences. For safety, select Login/Preferences/ Privacy and tick the box marked Ignore anyone who is not on my Friends list. The Preferences menu is also where you control other aspects of security. For instance, if you want to use chatrooms without attracting IMs, you can log in under Invisible mode or bar particular users from contacting you. Remember, you can also use webcams or voicechat, although a picture speaks volumes. It can be much easier to attract attention than get rid of it later.
Voila - you are now an Instant Messenger. Your online moments will never be lonely again. But use it indiscreetly and you will be fighting off pests until the Y3K.
Shorthand
Emoticons:
The one common element to most IMs seems to be emoticons, and fortunately there is a shorthand for these that works regardless of the program. Here are some of the most common ones, although all clients have a separate menu for entering them more quickly.
:) = smiley face
:( = sad face
:)) = laughing
:(( = crying
:x = I love you (ahhh)
Abbreviations:
Even if smiley faces leave you cold, there is no avoid ing the common abbreviations. Linguists sneer at the way IM is eroding the need for punctuation and correct spelling, but when someone cracks an online joke it is easier to type "lol" (laughs out loud) than "Oh, that was very amusing", especially if you have to do so 20 times per conversation. Other common abbreviations are:
TY - Thank you
YW - You're welcome
NP - No problem
K - OK
BRB - Be right back
ROFL - Rolls on the floor laughing (a louder version of LOL)
