1. When did you last go on social media and what did you do?

A. Literally just now. Posted a status update about my hangover/brunch/morning workout, plus an artfully filtered photo.

B. Yesterday. Commented on a relative’s recent post or “liked” their latest pic. They grow up so fast!

C. First thing this morning. Checked out a few accounts, nosed at their pics but left no comments. Or indeed, no trace.

D. Last night. Challenged a stranger’s opinions. Well, they were wrong and needed telling.

2. How close is your online personality to your real-life one?

A. Pretty similar. Both amazing, obv. I use one to promote the other, I guess.

B. What do you mean? They’re exactly the same. Well, when I can get the hang of all this. Oops, what did I press?

C. I’m quieter online but that’s a prudent choice. Nobody likes a show-off.

D. I’m much more outspoken online but hey, that’s the beauty of it.

3. What makes you angry on social media?

A. When you post something awesome and it doesn’t get the love it deserves.

B. Just the fiddlyness of it. And auto-correct’s a bit naughty.

C. Your own friends.

D. People with different, i.e. wrong, opinions.

4. When someone airs their political views online, what do you do?

A. Scroll on past. I’m fairly apolitical unless it
chimes with my own personal experience.

B. I don’t like to get involved. But different strokes for different folks and all that.

C. Read it, think about it,
then silently judge them
for it.

D. Engage, either by strongly agreeing (often in CAPS) or putting up a “robust” counter-argument.

5. What’s your profile picture?

A. Hot selfie or holiday snap. But I’m bored with it, so will change it soon.

B. Pet pic or holiday vista.

C. Fictional character or still-life.

D. Historical figure or Twitter egg.

6. What do you like best about social media?

A. Telling everyone what I’m up to. I’m soooo busy, I don’t see enough of people IRL.

B. Staying in touch, maybe sharing inspirational ideas or heart-rending stories.

C. The glimpse it affords into other people’s lives, whether good or bad. Usually the latter, tbh.

D. Letting off steam, calling people out and setting the world to rights.

7. After posting something online, what do you do?

A. Obsessively check back for responses. I live for those likes, favs and retweets.

B. Worry I haven’t done it right. Am I allowed another go?

C. I very rarely do. Putting myself out there feels too exposing.

D. Regularly check my replies and comments. Come on, bring it on.

8. Which type of accounts do you look at most frequently?

A. Celebs and fashionistas.

B. Friends and family.

C. Exes and frenemies.

D. Politicians and columnists.

9. What were the last hashtags and emojis you used?

A. #eatclean, #squadgoals and the nail-painting one.

B. #bliss, #family and a smiley face. And a loveheart. And another smiley face.

C. I don’t go in for that sort of ghastly thing.

D. #fact, #justsaying and an angry face.

10. What’s your motto when it comes to social media?

A. That’s enough about me. What do you think of me?

B. Not sure, but it would be printed in Comic Sans on a sunset background.

C. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

D. Never apologise, never explain, always land the first blow.

MOSTLY A

You’re an over-sharer. And a borderline humblebragger. You’ve got no filter or self-editing facility, so post a constant stream of updates, broadcasting your every move, mood and meal. What did you do before social media came along? Shout about yourself through people’s letterboxes? You’re so keen for approval you’re not keeping any mystery or privacy. Don’t feel as if you always have to be the one making noise. Sometimes less is more. If you wouldn’t announce it at a drinks party, do you really want it out there on the internet?

MOSTLY B

You’re a latecomer. You’re endearingly enthusiastic about social networking but don’t fully understand it. You “like” and comment on everything, which is sort of sweet but might be driving your loved ones doolally. Once you discovered emojis and hashtags, there was no stopping you. Now you overuse them. You get tripped up by auto-correct, fall for spam scams and are generally an online liability. Try asking someone more tech-savvy for a lesson or search online for tips and tutorials. It might stop you being the oldest swinger in cyber-town.

MOSTLY C

You’re a lurker. With slightly stalkerish tendencies. You consume but don’t contribute, preferring to creep around, cyber-spying, feeling superior and judging others. In some ways, you represent the silent majority but if you just joined in, we promise you’d get more out of it. Social media is supposed to be interactive and, well, social. Strike a better balance between nose-poking and networking. Take the plunge, swallow your misplaced pride and post stuff yourself. Otherwise you’re like an online version of a voyeur at an orgy, sitting in the half-light in a wicker chair. Bit sinister.

MOSTLY D

You’re a troll. A fight-picker and fire-starter. A rude Mr/Miss Angry who rages, rants and is convinced they’re always right. You think this makes you a fearless web warrior; in fact, you’re a keyboard coward who wouldn’t say boo to a goose in real life. Your aggressive approach turns discussions into dust-ups, stopping you learning or forming friendships. You probably hide behind a pseudonym but if not, you might need to clean up your profile next time you’re seeking a new partner or job - otherwise they’ll see your spittle-flecked, swivel-eyed feed and run a mile.