I can’t even begin to explain to you how long it took me to compile this list. Like, too long. Way too long. I have a job, a house, friends and a family that I have deeply neglected. There are hundreds of other clips I would have included if I could … but the Guardian wants 10 and 10 only … so that’s what the Guardian is going to get, dammit!

I love comedy. I do. There’s a reason why I bust my titties to work in the industry. And in my down time you’ll usually catch me watching YouTube apology videos, sexy thrillers from the early 90s and old episodes of MTV’s Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.

On the rare occasion that Bret Michaels doesn’t satisfy, I’ll turn to comedy and all of the things that light me up inside. Here are 10 of those things. I hope they light you up too, mates.

1. Kermit the Frog covers Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads

The Muppets were my introduction to comedy. As a four-year-old I would sit centimetres from the TV screen and watch their movies for hours, laughing so hard that the milk from my Sultana Bran would come cascading out of my chubby little nose and run all over my 90s OshKosh overalls.

There is nothing in the world more joyous than watching Muppets dance. Absolutely nothing. And this song is a total banger.

2. Absolutely everything Hot Department has ever done

I am easily Hot Department’s biggest fan. My obsession is borderline embarrassing. Their comedy is a beautiful amalgamation of horny, cringy and lovable.

This TikTok, for example. It’s horrific. It’s perfect. I don’t know how they managed to do this without laughing themselves into a full-blown cardiac arrest. I’m truly in awe of them.

3. Grace Jarvis on Twitter

if you’re cumming and I’m cumming… then who’s flying the plane?!?!

— Grace Jarvis (@gracejarvisohno) November 21, 2022

I don’t use Twitter very much, but when I do, it’s to check out what Grace is up to. I’m an avid reader of her anecdotes and I’m endlessly inspired by the way she is able to capture a moment so articulately with only a few words. I reckon she’s a genius. I like this particular tweet.

4. Greg Davies tells a very good story

Like, OK, sure … I have a monumental crush on Greg Davies. I didn’t include him in this list because I have a big crush on him though. I included him in this list because he is a phenomenal storyteller.

I also included him in this list because I have a big crush on him.

5. @Beam_me_up_softboi on Instagram

I was on dating apps for quite a long time and there was a dark period in my late 20s where I would exclusively date men that seemed to have memorised the top paragraph of every single Wiki page about every single art gallery on the planet. Men that described themselves as “sensitive” and “empathetic”. Men who didn’t wash their hair or their sheets but only wore offensively expensive aftershave. Softbois. When I found this Instagram page it was as if I was revisiting every dating app conversation I had when I was 27 years old. I couldn’t look away. I was home.

6. Trixie Mattel and Katya react to Dolly Parton’s Heartstrings

Before Covid, I had never watched RuPaul’s Drag Race. I knew it would be something that I would enjoy but I just never committed the time to it. Then I met my boyfriend. He was a huge fan of the show and encouraged me to watch a few episodes. I binge-watched the ENTIRE FRANCHISE during Melbourne’s lengthy pandemic lockdowns. I just couldn’t stop. I’m totally hooked now. I’m always in the mood for it. I’ll never say no to watching an episode or two.

Trixie and Katya are two of my favourite queens to feature on the show. There’s immaculate chemistry between the two of them. This particular episode of Netflix’s I Like to Watch is my favourite. When the mum knocks on the door to the hotel room? Dead.

7. This TikTok of a dog pushing ice

We really don’t deserve dogs. They are the most fabulous of all the creatures. I catch myself watching this particular video whenever I need a giggle. I mean, look at his excited face! Look how proud he is! He’s having the time of his goddamn life. I love him.

8. Dulcé Sloan at the 29th annual Great Debate

I adore everything about this 14-minute video. Dulcé is hilarious. She never seems to put a foot wrong. I first saw her alongside Trevor Noah on The Daily Show, but it’s this set during the Melbourne international comedy festival’s Great Debate in 2018 that hooked me. She describes having sex with an uncircumcised penis as “unfolding the dick”. Like, come on! I can only dream that one day I will be as audacious and bold as Dulcé Sloan.

9. This TikTok of a man breaking down a thirst trap

I have no shame in admitting that I am obsessed with TikTok thirst trap videos. Sexy cowboys dancing in a barn, attractive nerds who give you bedroom eyes in the library, random topless men mouthing Adam Levine songs in front of a ring light. I am hypnotised by them. This man (Sam Cahn) breaks down this thirst trap so accurately. You can see the combination of rage and pleasure behind his eyes. It’s like looking in a mirror.

10. Aunty Donna

Aunty Donna are the kings of sketch comedy, obviously. It was evident from super early on in their careers that they were doing something very special. I’m aware of how lucky I am to call these lads my mates, not just because they put me in their sketches and let me muck about in funny wigs with them, but because they are true geniuses of comedy and having the opportunity to watch them work has been priceless. I love them and the weird shit they put on the internet.

Of all the things they have ever done – Netflix shows, viral videos, world tours – this silly little sketch of a couple of goofs on a porch will always be my absolute favourite.