I never really got formally introduced to the internet. I was off wandering around when it came out. Been a bit of a laggard since; I still have a Hotmail account.
Most of my time now on the internet is spent watching other people’s barbecuing techniques or looking at videos and articles about people having fights on planes. The following stuff has probably already passed across your desk because it’s old. I don’t care; there’s rewatch value.
1. George W. Bush goes to Africa
Honestly, some nights I still think about who he was yelling at at the end of this video. The only explanation I can come up with is that Laura was standing over at the side of the press conference and they’d had an argument earlier over whether the park they went to was in Namibia or Botswana.
2. Ronnie Pickering
What starts out as a bog standard road rage incident ends up being a fascinating insight into the angry man psyche. A classic “do you know who I am?!”. The highlight is at 1:48. Grandfather of five Ronnie found fame from this and went on to get punched to the ground outside a pub in Hull a few short years later.
3. Gay wedding questions
This one from Key and Peele is one of the funniest things I’ve seen. They’ve nailed so many details within a pretty short sketch. I’ve watched it heaps. Skittles.
4. Shane Warne’s mural
The late, great Warnie incredibly commissioned a painting of himself at a pool party scene alongside some of his equals: Muhammad Ali, Frank Sinatra, Marilyn Monroe, JFK, Mick Jagger and The Boss, to name a few. His short description keeps you on the edge of your seat, and is cut short, leaving me as a viewer wanting even more.
5. Ronn Moss playing frisbee
Most of you know Ronn Moss as the flawless character with a career-defining thousand-yard stare: Ridge Forrester from The Bold and the Beautiful. But he was also versatile enough to play secret agent Rowdy Abilene alongside four Playboy playmates in 1987’s Hard Ticket to Hawaii. The frisbee scene is well worth a squiz.
6. John Howard bowling
Every so often, after a hard day’s yakka, I need a pick-me-up. When that’s the case, I go to my bookmarked video of Little Johnny bowling in Pakistan. I like to think when he tried to become the ICC vice-president, this was the video that swung the vote against him. Warms the cockles.
7. Malibu the Gladiator
I’ve never watched a frame of Gladiators, even the critically acclaimed Australian version. This clip, however, features one of the coolest guys I’ve ever seen explaining how he coalesced after his on-camera accident – outside the confines of traditional medicine.
8. Bottlo
I assumed a couple of the suggestions I submitted would been vetted due to defamation risk – so I sent a back-up: a sketch series on Instagram (and I think TikTok) by Sydney comedians Cam Knight and Luke Heggie. Cam does all of the shooting, directing, editing and half the writing. I turn up.
9. Mal Meninga
Hard to find the original video so these days I have to settle for Bert Newton’s nostalgic commentary on it. In 2001, long after big Mal was charging towards try lines, smashing hapless cockroaches out of his way with a plaster cast, he experienced the briefest and most honest political career on record.
10. Fenton
I know I’m supposed to know stuff that’s not mainstream and common enough for tens of millions of people to have watched, but any dog owner (except for the ones who have those boring little dogs that always do what they’re told) knows what this bloke is feeling. Go Fenton.
Luke Heggie is touring Australia from 8 March with his new show, Your Stupid, including at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and the Sydney Comedy Festival. He also co-hosts a podcast called Mid Flight Brawl with Nick J Cody
