I have a child who has expressed an interest in becoming a bus driver. I’m not going to encourage it. Not because I have anything against driving buses as a profession (though I’m not crazy about his chosen route, the 226 between Golders Green and Ealing Broadway – would one that passes through central London not be more glamorous, as well as being more double-decker?) No, my problem with it is that by the time he reaches bus-driving age, it probably won’t be a profession any more. He’s only three you see. It’s an issue that arises in Horizon: Dawn of the Driverless Car (BBC2) – the impact autonomous vehicles are going to have on employment. The future may be safer, and greener, but there will also be fewer jobs. Bus drivers, truck drivers, delivery drivers – all the drivers. Think of poor Jeremy Clarkson, what’s he going to do? Actually, don’t think of Jeremy Clarkson. And driverless cars obviously can’t come soon enough for Richard Hammond, the one who keeps crashing.
They – that lot – get a nod, incidentally. A company called FiveAI “aims to turn this reasonably priced electric car into the star of the driverless world,” says Sara Pascoe, narrating. AI refers to artificial intelligence, of course, five to the top level of driverless autonomy, whereby the vehicle can drive anywhere without any kind of human intervention. That’s where FiveAI, and everyone else (Google, Apple, Tesla, Ford, Volvo etc) are trying to get to.
Right now they are just about at level three, meaning a car can do everything but a human driver must be present to take over in emergencies. There’s an interesting problem with level-three autonomy, and that is paying attention when the machine is in control. Human minds tend to wander, get distracted, or shut down. “The idea of autonomous cars is really, really exciting,” says Wendy Ju of Stanford University. “So it’s ironic that the reality of being in an autonomous car ... is really, really boring.”
So if the human is suddenly called on to step in during an emergency, they’re probably not up to it. Especially if they’re on the way home from the pub with nine pints of Stella sloshing around inside them.
Interestingly – possibly even ironically – I had a couple of little level three moments watching this programme. Not nine pints, but mind-wandering. It’s an excellent documentary that very thoroughly covers everything – the science, the combination of lidar, radar and satnav that makes these machines work, where it’s all at now, where it’s going. Plus the AI, and the implications for our lives, our cities, our jobs. It aso touches on ethical issues, like what happens when an accident is unavoidable and the car has to decide what – or who – to crash into. And there are contributions from all the right people – scientists, designers, test drivers, an admirable percentage (over 50) of whom are women. No one’s going to give this Horizon the dumb-down thumbs-down.
And yet I did wander, a bit. Maybe it says more about me (it was the same with science at school). Maybe it’s because there is no presenter to engage with (Pascoe is only here in voice). That is ironic isn’t it, that I might have felt more comfortable with a human presence to steer me through the science?
Still I wasn’t wandering far, and it was at least related. I was just wondering how all of this would affect the dreams of a three-year-old hoping for the 226 bus route. Quite badly I think; it pretty much shatters them.
When he’s a bit older we’ll obviously be encouraging him to go on Naked Attraction (Channel 4). That’s what the mother of 21-year-old Dom did. Go on son, you’re single, why don’t you go on the telly, have a look at some fannies, see if there’s anything that takes your fancy. Dom picks Tamara’s – and the rest of her to be fair – though he gets to meet her down there first.
Next up Lizzy, who is pansexual. So she’s given a choice of willies and fannies to choose from. Sounds more interesting? Hmm, not much. Because the truth is, once you’ve had your little tee-hee about naked people on the telly, it’s just awkward and boring. On television, anyway, fannies and willies are less interesting than the people attached to them, and we’re not finding out anything about this lot. Call me square but I like it the old-fashioned way – the people first, then their bits. Take me back to Love Island. Actually, that would make me proud, if a child of mine were to get on there one day. That’s something to strive for.
