Tableau of the week comes from Buckingham Palace, where enthusiasm’s Tom Cruise attended an event to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the Outward Bound Trust, of which Prince Philip is a patron. Given that Tom Cruise is at best 5ft 7in and the Duke of Edinburgh is over 6ft, the scene is shot sympathetically by the photographer – unless Tom is standing on a box. Or Philip has been made to stand in a hole, as Alan Ladd insisted Sophia Loren was in Boy on a Dolphin.

Anyway, the other man in the picture is deep-pocketed Tory party donor Lord Kirkham, who founded the DFS sofa chain, and is clearly thinking: “You can jump on my couch any time.”

“Bullshit!” grins Cruise. “You can jump on mine.” As for the Duke of Edinburgh, he isn’t “on” the internet, so missed the notorious Oprah appearance. But if he had seen it, he would surely be wishing one of the footmen had roped off the George III giltwood sofa behind them. Actually, I say the George III sofa – but given this is Buckingham Palace itself, it may have literally been George III’s sofa. In which case, I suppose Tom would be only the second maddest person ever to have jumped on it.