Name: Selfie stick.
Official name: Monopod.
Age: 11 years old, according to its inventor, Wayne Fromm.
Appearance: A rod with a camera at one end and an embarrassed person at the other.
Are they always embarrassed? They often don’t look embarrassed enough. Well, a YouGov poll this month found that 71% of Britons considered selfie sticks at least somewhat embarrassing, 70% at least somewhat annoying, 64% a waste of money and 82% a fad.
Yet more proof that the majority of British people can’t possibly be wrong about anything. Um. Maybe.
But haven’t we heard enough about selfie sticks by now? Possibly. That would explain why sales of them at John Lewis have plummeted in the past year. Plummeted, I tell you – by 50%.
Do we know how they’re selling at other retailers? No.
Do we know whether this is just the market reaching saturation point, where everyone who wants a selfie stick already has one? No.
So we don’t know whether the craze is ending, or just levelling off? No, but we do know that John Lewis shoppers are rather susceptible to crazes.
You mean like Emma Bridgewater and Cath Kidston and Orla Kiely and … Yes. But also it seems white Converse, ornamental pineapples, statement water bottles and flamingos. Those have all become much more popular in the past year. Flamingo searches are up 200% on the John Lewis website.
What in the name of all that’s holy is a statement water bottle? A water bottle that tells the world what kind of person you are.
If I was that kind of person I’d keep quiet about it. How about ornamental pineapples, what are they for? Oh you know, you can decorate clothes with them, make candles shaped like them, put ice in them … Basically they make it easier to think about pineapples while going about your daily life.
Positively useful, some would say, compared to selfie sticks. John Lewis even sells stuff covered in both pineapples and flamingos by the designer Fenella Smith.
I’m starting to doubt British people again. What if Smith starts making selfie sticks? Clearly that’s the danger. For now we must just hope that wisdom will prevail.
Do say: “Cheeeeeeese.”
Don’t say: “I am getting completely fed up with theeeeeese.”
