Match the celebrity to their deeply considered thoughts on a modern terror state. Answers at the bottom. No cheating.

1. Light up your caliphate

“If you’re able to cut a man’s head off, you’re sick. But right, music evokes emotion. So if they’re listening to … reggae music, they’re not going to want to cut somebody’s head off.

“There’re two things you want to do when you listen to reggae: you get somebody pregnant, or you’re fucking high. High people don’t want to kill nothing; they want to love. They need to bag some Jamaican weed and distribute it amongst Isis. I guarantee there won’t be any more wars out there … Throw some Bob Marley up in there and there’ll be peace. Some of these world leaders need to be stoners though, really.”

a) Pitbull b) Ziggy Marley c) Shaggy d) Grace Jones

2. Video nasties

“Uh-huh. I’ve watched them [beheading videos]. And anyone who sees them and claims that they were anaesthetised by violent movies, that they weren’t horrified by what they saw, on the most primal level, is intellectually dishonest or existentially unpresent.”

a) Sean Penn b) Noam Chomsky c) The Edge d) Piers Morgan

3. The Icing-Bag of Evil

Would being asked to make a cake for a gay marriage also mean a bakery would have to agree to make a cake emblazoned with an Isis flag, or manifesto, our star pondered?
“At the end of the day, if you went in there and two days later they said: ‘We don’t want to make your cakes because of our beliefs,’ you’d just never go back to that shop and you’d probably say to all your gay friends: ‘Don’t go there, they’re anti-gay,’ and boycott it.

“What about if somebody walked in and said: ‘I want a cake and I want the whole Islamic State on it and how I support it and how I support them killing our people.’ Because it’s a business do they have to make it? And if they turn around and say they’re not making it, we’d all applaud it.”

a) Sharon Osbourne b) Coleen Nolan c) Delia Smith d) Amanda Platell

4. It’s all about me

“They’re getting to a point where the so-called caliphate will be run by a bunch of bullies, basically. But then, I’ve seen this before — in my lifetime, I grew up with bullies at school, I grew up with bullies in the Sea Scouts, I grew up with bullies in my band!”

a) Morrissey b) Keith Richards c) Pete Townshend d) Peter Hook

5. Smash the system

“Here we are with the world in the state it is in, and we’ve got One Direction … Where are the artists writing with any real sense of angst and purpose? There are no movements at the moment; we had mod and then there was punk, but it’s so hard to start a movement now. Unless it’s Isis.”

a) Paul Weller b) Roger Daltrey c) Siouxsie Soux d) John Lydon

6. Slight overreaction?

Talking about his accusation of sexual assault against US airport staff.
“TSA have ignored my official and legal and constitutional complaint. From this we gather that TSA stands for Thorough Sexual Assault. If you are travelling through San Francisco international airport you must be ready for a full sexual attack by people who claim to have your interests at heart. It is unlikely that Isis would stoop so low.”

a) Tom Jones b) Kanye West c) Elon Musk d) Morrissey

ANSWERS

1. Shaggy

2. Sean Penn

3. Loose Women’s Coleen Nolan

4. Pete Townshend

5. Roger Daltrey

6. Morrissey