Here’s one of those bizarro Sunday projects the British film industry emits with baffling regularity: a foolhardy attempt to revive the Roman epic in Cyprus on a budget that Xena: Warrior Princess might have snarled at. Some logistical nous lurks behind its rhubarbing barbarians, but it’s almost eerily lacking in drama or spectacle: gathered old boys (Steven Berkoff, Joss Ackland, Peter O’Toole) and Sam Beckinsale from London’s Burning merely enter and exit, declaiming from a none-too-rigorous script while keeping one eye on the production accountant. Casting scuppers its proposal of Katherine as a revolutionary thinker: novice Nicole Keniheart’s super-awkward, slow-motion line delivery suggests she might need help doing the wordsearch.
This is a lovely movie, but then again it has female leading players and it’s evident by your bias that you prefer men, with guns, bullets, and a few slashed throats. You seem to have invented many things (not sure if you sold any ideas) and yet you are clearly unable to provide half decent reviews. What about sound, music, dialogue? You’re going to probably say that I shouldn’t put a comma before AND.