The woman at the center of a landmark $16m Silicon Valley sex discrimination case said she was suing her former venture capital employer for such a large amount because only an eight-figure settlement would “hit their radar” and force change in the west coast technology scene’s “boys’ club”.

Ellen Pao, who was fired by prestigious venture capital firm Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers after she complained about sexual discrimination, told jurors in a San Francisco court that she had “gone through every possible internal process I thought I could go through” to try and raise her concerns with the firm’s management.

In one email to Kleiner Perkins’ partners, she asked them to “imagine your wife or daughter in my position”.

“I wanted an even playing field for women at the firm,” she said. “I wanted to have an environment where people who complained about problems related to discrimination or to other issues would be heard and that the firm would do something about it.”

She said that after an internal Kleiner Perkins investigation found that she had not suffered discrimination, she was ignored by superiors and excluded from important meetings, dinners and corporate jet flights. “It was extremely difficult and very uncomfortable,” Pao, who is now interim chief executive of social news site Reddit, said.

Among Pao’s claims was the allegation that she, and other women, were excluded from an important Kleiner Perkins dinner with former US vice-president Al Gore because they would “kill the buzz”.

“It was said that if there were women there, the conversation would be tempered and it was because women kill the buzz,” Pao said on the stand on Monday. The organiser of the dinner, Chi-Hua Chien, denied saying women would “kill the buzz”, but conceded that the dinner was a male-only affair.

At the time of the dinner, Pao lived in the same building as Gore. Pao said she bumped into the chief executive of Flipboard, the social network aggregator, outside the building and had to tell him that she wouldn’t be able to go to the dinner. “It was pretty humiliating,” she said. “I had to explain to them that I wouldn’t be attending, and it was because I wasn’t a man.”

Kleiner Perkins disputes her claims, and argues that she lacked the interpersonal skills to succeed in the company and that she is adequately compensated at Reddit.

The trial, being heard at the superior court in San Francisco, has all of Silicon Valley gripped. Kleiner Perkins is among the most prestigious venture capital companies in technology and counts Amazon, Google and Uber among its investments.

In earlier testimony Alan Exelrod, Pao’s attorney, argued that Kleiner Perkins systematically discriminated against women. In opening statements he said the company had existed for about 40 years when Pao was let go and had only promoted one woman from junior partner to senior partner in that time.

Exelrod contrasted Pao’s evaluations with those of male colleagues. She was described as having “poor interpersonal skills” and “her own agenda” while male colleagues, who were promoted, were evaluated as “quite tough”, “arrogant” and “blunt and overbearing”.

The case is not about sexual harassment. However, Pao has said she was given a book of erotic poetry and nude sketches by a senior partner at the firm. She also claims another male employee interfered with her work after she ended an affair with him.

Pao’s testimony follows that of John Doerr, billionaire senior partner at Kleiner Perkins, who testified that he had tried to save Pao’s career at the firm after criticism from colleagues. Pao worked as Doerr’s chief of staff when she joined the company.

In a performance review filed with the court, Doerr said Pao had been dismissive of peers who did not meet her expectations and needed to improve her interpersonal skills. He otherwise praised her performance in her first year as his chief of staff.

In court Doerr said he had provided Pao with two coaches to improve her presentation skills, but the training failed to pay off. “Ellen is very talented,” he told the court. “I felt that she ought to have another shot.”

According to Doerr, 20% of partners at Kleiner Perkins are women, a far higher percentage than its peers according to a recent study released by Babson College in Massachusetts. According to that study, released last year, the total number of female partners in venture capital firms has declined significantly since 1999, dropping to 6% from 10%.