I stumbled over the glacier like a drunkard, stinging sweat pouring from me like spilled wine.
The rocks I had to climb over had been arduous enough on the way in, but now I was carrying a dying man on my back and at this altitude he only had three days to live.
The nearest hospital in Skardu was seven days away. All the time he was conscious he was crying: "I'm sorry Sir, I'm sorry Sir."
And every time I would answer through gritted teeth: "You're going to be OK Sher."
But inside I was pleading "God, don't let him die, please, don't let him die."
Only dreams of Scotland and the beloved images of my family and friends kept me sane as I carried him through hell for what seemed like 40 days and 40 nights.
And as the days wore on and I degenerated into a dehydrated, frostbitten wreck, the memories I cherished began to flicker and fade to dull lifeless fictions, as if that life had never existed.
And I realised that soon I would collapse and Sher and I would die together on a frozen wasteland, beneath an empty sky, far from home. How had it come to this?
I had set out to run my online outdoor clothing company WildDay.com via Iridium satellite phone and laptop from K2's base camp, the wildest place on earth.
Taking care of business while climbing K2 and Broad Peak seemed so adventurous from home and for some reason K2's nickname of the "savage mountain" had seemed almost glamorous.
Its reputation of bringing death to expeditions seemed unreal - but death was waiting for me.
First a friend and fellow climber died of a cerebral oedema at base camp, then a week later a Korean climber died while climbing on K2.
Finally, like a scene from a darkest nightmare, an avalanche that almost reached base camp brought with it a series of dead bodies from past expeditions, their jagged limbs protruding from the snow like broken sailors washed ashore in a storm of ice.
At this point I knew I had had my fill of death. So when my friend Sher Zaban, who had been our guide on the climb on Nanga Parbat, fell ill at base camp soon afterwards with what turned out to be a collapsed lung, my very soul rebelled.
But as I tried to make hurried arrangements for his immediate evacuation it very quickly became apparent that there was one major obstacle standing in the way of the help Sher needed and it wasn't the glacier.
Sher was poor. This meant that the authorities would not send a helicopter to take him to hospital and due to his economic status nobody else was willing to help him.
Sher had slaved for 10 hours a day, carrying 30kgs on his back for a pittance, and now he had collapsed and was going to die and nobody gave a damn.
At that point I realised that I would have to carry him out. Although I would have to give up my chance to reach the summit, the only thing that mattered was making sure he lived.
Although I did not realise it at the time his collapse and the events that followed it revealed so many brutal truths to me that I know I will never be the same again.
The conditions the porters laboured under had bothered me for the whole expedition.
It seemed to me that their working conditions were no better than that of beasts of burden and they made me think of my grandfather who slaved his youth away down the mines 80 years ago.
In an attempt to win humane working conditions he had become one of the founding members of the Labour party in Glasgow.
I wondered what his reaction would be to my passionate commitment to an entrepreneurial culture.
Was I the fulfilment or a betrayal of his struggle? It made me question myself; how does one balance being an entrepreneur with having a strong social conscience?
I realised that for me ethical entrepreneurialism is social responsibility; that by creating wealth I could give wealth back to society. You can't help a hungry man if you are starving yourself.
Building WildDay.com was not done so that I could drape myself in the tacky trappings of status but rather it was my responsibility to build a successful business so that I could give something back for everything that I had been given in my blessed life in Scotland.
Work was my way of saying thank-you to all our ancestors, who, like my grandfather, created the conditions that we now enjoy.
People like Sher in northern Pakistan are currently struggling for a better life the way they did.
Seeing the conditions that the porters endured made me think of how my own staff are treated.
Obviously WildDay.com's staff live in a completely different world from the porters, but even with a commitment to ethical entrepreneurialism, giving staff a fulfilling, financially-rewarding career while maintaining an efficient, fast-growing business can be extremely difficult.
In fact many of my peers say that it is the most difficult facet of their whole business.
Because of the difficulties of making sure staff are happy in a fast growing company, WildDay.com decided to seek external advice from a company called Kite HR in Edinburgh.
Our decision was based on two criteria: they do not charge placement fees and their holistic approach meant they helped us with all the other facets surrounding employment issues in order to develop a workable recruitment strategy, rather than just taking commission for filling vacancies.
Having fulfilled staff isn't just socially important. It is sound business practice in terms of performance, absenteeism and staff turnover.
Kite HR have helped immensely in this area. (Although they did mention that some applicants were disconcerted being interviewed via satellite phone from K2 base camp and were adamant that it was some sort of test). It is not easy to create a dynamic company that holds values before profit and can still fulfil the aspirations of its founders and function in a rapacious business world.
But if we wish to hold our heads up high and be worthy of our success do we really have a choice?
Finally, Sher taught me balance. How many business people lose their families, health, friends, and sometimes, through dubious business decisions, their self respect?
Sacrificing everything for their career, putting ambition before everything else.
Giving up my goal to save Sher reminded me of what, deep down I already knew, that humanity must always come before ambition.
How does that quote go again? "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?"
I saved Sher's life and he changed mine. So I like to think we are quits.
The expedition was sponsored by Actinic.
Related articles
12.07.2001: A bad day at the office
02.08.2001: Tragedy hits WildDay expedition
Useful site
