I remember clearly the day I decided to leave the corporate world. I was working for one of the big five management consultancies (since reduced to the "big four," then the "big three"... I think they're now down to the "big one"). I'd spent two days working on a proposal for a French bank and I was running out of the will to live.

For a laugh - and perhaps, subconsciously, to get fired - I launched the Dack Bullshit Generator, clicked the Make Bullshit button and retrieved this steamer: "enable mission-critical metrics." I can't remember in which context I used the phrase, but I found a place for it in the proposal. I got a bit carried away and added another, then another.

About an hour after handing the proposal over to the partner in charge of the bid, I was summoned to his office. His red pen lay spent on his desk. "Which school did you go to?" he said.

"Muizenberg High School," I replied, feeling five years old. "L-y-o-n-n-a-i-s-e is a bank," he sneered. "L-y-o-n-n-a-i-s is a sauce. Do you know how to use 'find and replace' on Word?" I nodded and he flung the document at me.

Back at my desk, I riffled through the proposal. To me, phrases like "streamline customised functionalities" and "leverage robust deliverables" are as impenetrable as Zen koans. But to the bid master, they made perfect sense. He hadn't taken his pen to any of them. I knew then that I'd never fit in, so I decided to quit.

Now, all these years later, the poacher has turned game-keeper. I find it wonderfully ironic that one of the most culpable generators of corporate gobbledegook, Deloitte Consulting, has developed a program to seek and destroy jargon. They call it Bullfighter, and you can download a free copy from their website.

The program works in a similar way to Word's spell and grammar checker, except its job is to sniff out bull and offer more scented alternatives. The software analyses your document, and then gives you a Bull Index score for jargon, and a Flesch Index score for readability. You can also add your own bull words to the customised dictionary, or download updated versions of the dictionary from the Deloitte website.

The program was written after a consultant at Deloitte's Dallas office set a challenge: "Instead of just talking about plain talk, design a tool to help people talk plainly."

Chelsea Hardaway, Deloitte's marketing director, took up the challenge and Bullfighter was born. Asked about the benefits of Bullfighter, she told the New York Times: "We envision a centre of excellence where our accelerated change agents can maximize their core competencies."

For me, it's too little, too late, but for the sake of all the office drones, forced into a life of report-writing servitude, I hope this program spreads like the Sars virus at a coughing convention. And for anyone who's ever said "bleeding-edge" or "out of the box", I urge you to download this program. It's only 4Mb and it runs on Word and PowerPoint 2000 and XP. Come on. Spread the word. The end of bull is nigh.

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