Taxi drivers in Las Vegas loathe Comdex. The high-earning geek set who converge upon the gambling oasis for their annual industry shindig are not the strongest of tippers. The drivers have a joke about the conference attendees.
'Comdex people come here with $20 and one white shirt and don't change either all week,' said John Di Lamo, a taxi driver. He reels off examples of stingy techies, usually at the show on expenses. One young exec negotiated a $6 million deal in the back of the cab but tipped him just 80 cents.
Volatility in the value of their share options may partly explain such thriftiness - at one point during the show, the Nasdaq index slipped below 3,000 points.
But the vicissitudes of stock markets have done little to quell enthusiasm among delegates. Last year dotcoms held centre stage as the starting guns fired on an astonishing five-month rally. Subsequent experience suggests that some investors would have had a better return from the slot machines at Caesar's Palace.
The racy bets this year were on wireless and networking technologies, and preferably combinations of the two.
Perhaps the recent addition of a half-size Eiffel Tower to Las Vegas's casino district helped focus US companies on wireless technologies traditionally dominated by Europe. The busiest booths sported an array of such mobile gadgetry. Those promoting Palm Pilots, the similar Handspring Visor, and Ericsson mobile phones, were packed.
Delegates, all employed in the technology sector, were easily worked into a lather over the prospect of winning T-shirts, baseball caps and pens. Surely their share options haven't fallen that far?
At times it felt more like a university freshers' fair than the foremost convention of America's most important industry.
But there is one major difference - money, and stacks of it. Las Vegas is the perfect location for the meeting of an industry which, despite recent turbulence, is awash with cash. Limousines seemed more numerous than taxis. The Pyramids, the Arc de Triomphe, the Rialto Bridge, volcanos, sharks, tigers and lions were all there. EDS, the software services company, spent $6 million on its Comdex presence. 'The digital economy rocks!' shouted its booth. EDS tried to prove this by hiring out pop diva Macy Gray. She sang to assorted minions of the new economy in a converted hangar at Las Vegas airport.
A performance which can only be described as 'National Semiconductor - the musical' in the Comdex north hall took up this theme. One song featured lyrics such as 'Our market is growing so fast/The future is here to last, at Nat-ion-aal' and 'from personal devices to TV news/National is making it to use/we're freeing people from the PC'.
This 'tyranny' of the personal computer was a recurring theme during the conference. In part this reflects the Microsoft factor - it is the Manchester United of the tech world: disliked by hardcore geeks but nonetheless extremely successful.
Historically, some conflicts have been about land and others about ideology but for these guys it boils down to the thorny issue of where you store your 'apps' - either locally on a PC, or on a central device accessed by more nimble network computers.
The clearest manifestation of this was Microsoft's escalation of the war of words with Oracle and its charismatic chief executive, Larry Ellison.
'Larry's been talking about ideas that have gone nowhere for years. How long has he been talking about the [network computer]? Six years, seven years? Where did it go? Nowhere,' said Steve Ballmer, Microsoft's chief executive.
'You're considered a dead company if you write applications for the PC,' said Ellison, before referring to Microsoft's new Tablet PC concept as irrelevant 'pen computing'. He also hinted that he may take on Bill Clinton after his presidential term finishes in January.
But Microsoft spin-meisters had the best of it. They handed out mugs to people attending Ellison's speech, which claimed that Oracle salesman offer a $1m discount when trying to secure business from Microsoft customers.
'When Oracle salesman pitches $5m of overpriced software, simply glance at the mug,' it reads. 'Oracle salesman spots mug, offers 20 per cent discount.'
If that upset Ellison, then he was delighted to hear that he may be the model for a character in the forthcoming Charlie's Angels movie. Tim Curry plays a wealthy tech-exec with a penchant for fast cars and Japanese-style houses. Ellison only expressed disappointment that action star Steven Seagal wasn't playing 'him'.
Back at the exhibition, film imagery was being used extensively to inject an air of excitement into attempts to sell graphics cards, DVD drives and even earphones.
Canadian graphics company ATI used a dialogue between mocked-up characters from The Matrix to promote a graphics chip for laptops.
'It's incredible, it's as if there's no limit to ATI innovation,' said the Keanu Reeves lookalike. 'This is my reality now. Mobius gives me mobility.'
But he can't go - oh, no - on the orders of the leather-clad female character. 'You can't leave yet,' she intercedes, because 'it's time for you to experience TV Wonder USB'.
Hitachi's attempts at entertainment were especially awful, drowning out any possibility of conversation in neighbouring stands. Someone called Bob Kolyer, a dead ringer for magician David Copperfield, became unfeasibly excited about promoting DVD-Ram technology from his 'catwalk' stage. 'Don't go away, we will be showing nothing but the sexiest most beautiful technology you can ever use,' he said.
Scantily clad, pouting models then strode around the catwalk showing off their diskettes, hard-drives, and digicams.
They weren't the only ones. Sybersay, a Californian purveyor of 'state-of-the-ear' technology, crammed in four Barbarella lookalikes, resplendent in metallic blue jumpsuits, to show off earphones at their booth.
'In the south hall - that's the billion dollar boy's club where they have the beautiful, almost naked ladies,' said Michael McLean of Advanced Scientific Corporation, one of the smaller exhibitors whose booth was in the north hall.
Perhaps unsurprising then, given such marketing methods, that Adultdex 2000 should spring up in parallel to Comdex. Taking place on the 'same days as Comdex, [but] later hours!' that event promised 'the latest in multimedia, video, DVD, internet, and video conferencing'. The fliers were perhaps intended to confuse jet-lagged, sleep-deprived techies. They certainly were a reminder of the pivotal role of pornography in the commercialisation of new media, from VHS cassettes to satellite TV and the internet.
The sprawling mass of over-promotion and hyperbole that is Comdex is contradictory in itself. Given the vision of driving purchasing and marketing on to the net, surely mass meetings such as Comdex will be unnecessary? There are clearly other compelling reasons for its 200,000 delegates to visit. 'It's the biggest adult toy store you have ever been in,' said McLean. 'I'll be back next year and it will be even wilder.'
John Di Lamo, the taxi driver, offered a contrary view: 'It's quite scary that our entire economy is in these guys' hands.' He may have a point.
For five days, no one sleeps
It is the biggest roadshow on earth. A giant movable feast dedicated to the biggest, sexiest, technologies around. At this time every year more than 2,300 of the world's largest companies, including the likes of Compaq, Cisco, Dell, Eastman Kodak, Microsoft and Nokia, descend on Las Vegas to unveil their latest products and strut their stuff. A company's share price can soar on a slick presentation, often made to a live audience of 10,000 and simultaneously webcast around the world.
More than 200,000 movers and shakers of the IT world pour into the gambling mecca and for five days no one sleeps. It is not unusual for conferences to start at seven in the evening while the partying goes on until dawn. The clamour to attend the 'keynote' address which starts the event - this year given by Bill Gates - has people queuing down the strip. Much of the after-hours action takes place in three of Vegas's biggest hotels - the Venetian, the MGM Grand and the Hilton, which are booked up years in advance. Similarly, during Comdex week only the IT posse can get into the most upmarket restaurants such as Tsunami, renowned for its sushi.
During the day, companies get to sell themselves at the Las Vegas Convention Centre and the Sands Expo and Convention Centre. Booths at the conference can be up to 10,000 square feet. For this year's event, Comdex's organiser, Key3Media, sold more than one million square feet of space.
And Comdex has its eyes on world dominance. There are now 17 Comdex-branded events in 12 countries, including Brazil and Germany. The Comdex events accounted for nearly 40 per cent of the $251 million of revenue generated by Key3Media last year.
The event organiser is so flushed with its own success that this year it decided to hold its own exclusive party. Numerous politicians, and New York Stock Exchange boss Richard Grasso, turned up to help the company celebrate its good fortune. How long before Comdex comes over here?
