Got something to advertise but don't know how to sell it? Then why not contact Liverpool striker Fernando Torres? Monkey only mentions this after the Spanish star turned up on the web, apparently advertising tennis lessons and a dog training school on behalf of his mates. What a nice chap. Although Monkey wonders if the subtle Nike branding suggests a corporate hand at work behind the scenes. Surely not! And anyway, everyone knows that sort of subliminal advertising doesn't work. Must dash – off to buy a new pair of trainers.