The "body" - an ugly sounding name for an even uglier piece of clothing. Mention that late-80s leotard with poppers at the gusset to most thirtysomething women and the likely response is a very brief nostalgic chuckle followed by a deep moan about the impracticality of the fastenings, especially when it's time to visit the loo. To these women, the sight of a pregnant Katie Holmes in yesterday's Sun, LA latte in hand, wearing what is almost certainly a white ribbed body straining out from her hipster jeans, is a truly frightening one. So, is this just another weird Scientology quirk or could the body possibly be creeping back into fashion again? Surely to goodness not.
The heyday of the body was, to my reckoning, 1990. On the catwalk they were from the Donna Karan school of "capsule dressing", meant to look ultra chic under suits. Smooth lines with none of those messy tucked-in lumps were the idea - a sort of power minimalism. Of course, in reality things were very different. Frequently hailing from Miss Selfridge or the now sadly defunct Coppernob, bodies became the uniform for girls out on the town. Sometimes, if you were drunk, you didn't bother even to do them up, leaving a flap of fabric to hang over the back of your hotpants. It was the equivalent of the "whale tail", the dodgy visible g-string, that we have now. If only Heat had been around then. Its "circle of shame" pages would have lapped them up.
Ms Holmes is too young for the first incarnation of the body. So is she just looking for an easy way of sartorially identifying with beloved Tom's favourite era? Or, dear God, she's noticed a few variations around recently. No one can have failed to notice Madonna's recent reliance on the disco look, which centres on that Lycra cousin of the body, the leotard. Leggings aren't the no-no they once were, though mercifully we are aeons away from a ski-pant revival. Topshop Unique showed a Lycra-hooded unitard on its summer catwalk that would have Grace Jones salivating. Tellingly though, the word from the Topshop press office is that these unitards are unlikely to make it into store, and frankly, if you can't buy something in Topshop, then it isn't in fashion.
As for the practicalities of a pregnant women wearing a body, it's utterly absurd. Complicated crotch fastenings for frequent loo visitors will never catch on. If it's the bare tummy she's worried about, the people at Formes, the maternity-wear shop, suggest that Katie would be far better off with a cummerbund to cover any gaps between her clothing, and as for bodies, they say there is absolutely no demand for them. Where Holmes purchased her body, or why indeed she thinks they're a good idea, is anyone's guess. But given her recent choice of shopping companion, perhaps it shouldn't come as a surprise.
