The marriage season is in full swing, and I'm currently stuck in a week of two weddings - one between George and Rachel and the other between Treena and Nick. When considering the appropriate presents to give to these couples on the cusps of their (continued) lives together, my partner and I thought back on the most useful and important element which has kept us in relatively stable matrimony over the years - good, stiff competition mediated by playing computer games.
Contrary to the images we've been fed by Hollywood, marriage is not a series of blissful and romantic moments. Ours is interspersed with inevitable disagreement and the joys of resolution. Rather than take up kickboxing together, and thereby having not only the (occasional) desire, but also the capacity to cause GBH, or draw upon lessons learned from a few sessions of primal scream therapy, I find that the tactical and cathartic properties of a good game have worked well to intervene in the "I'm-right-no-I'm-right" stand-offs.
The obvious contender to resolve debates is a beat-em-up game, but I feel that virtually kicking the holy heck out of one another is too cheap. It can also lead to accusations of sabotage, thus spinning the original altercation over dirty dishes into new territory.
A much better genre for solving interpersonal disputes is the strategy game; the old PC title Total Annihilation pits wits against wits as players develop mighty armies to destroy one another. It's like chess, but with guns. Again, I'm not so good at that one so it tends to stay in the cupboard.
The best games I've found which assuage disagreements in our household are cooperative titles. They force players to work together to defeat a common enemy (instead of each other), so a series of joint decisions at breakneck speed often serves as the antiseptic cream for any emotional abrasions, which occur in real time. These games aren't about being "the best" at something, so ability isn't an issue. There's no leader board, just teamwork, thus forging ties and opening up communication channels that transcend petty arguments about whose turn it is to take the rubbish out. King among these is Halo on the Xbox. When one of us starts grumbling, we fire up the big green box and take pot shots at the Horde. As the old adage says, the family that plays together...
And so, for couples about to embark on a formal rollercoaster ride of commitment, I reckon essential elements on the wedding list are games machines and cooperative titles. For partnerships made in heaven, two controllers are better always than one.
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