David Cameron is about to take delivery of a specially programmed prime ministerial iPad, reportedly at a cost of £20,000 (3G contract not included). An iPad devotee already – he uses it to catch up on episodes of The Killing while travelling – Cameron will now be able to keep tabs on polling data, market fluctuations, unemployment figures, crime statistics and news feeds, all with the sweep of a finger across a special dashboard.

Of course, much of this information is already available to any iPad owner with time on his or her hands, which is perhaps why the Taxpayers' Alliance described the new toy as "both a distraction and a waste of money". And while some of the software may eventually benefit other cabinet ministers, it's difficult to see how even the PM's particular requirements could stretch to £20,000 worth of apps.

What could be on Cameron's iPad that isn't on everybody else's?

BoJo Retrainer

Delivers a remote electric shock to London mayor Boris Johnson. Designed to reward loyalty and discourage unscheduled candour, but also a fun way to kill time when you're stuck on a train.

Politically Optimised iTunes

Automatically selects, downloads and prioritises songs that make the PM seem hip, youthful and culturally aware. Latest version also screens out artists who might subsequently disavow your fanship. Currently playing: Adele.

Nuclear Button

This secure application allows the PM to be in control of Britain's nuclear arsenal at all times. For safety reasons, password must be at least eight characters long and contain both numbers and letters.

iBomber Defence: Nuclear Option

New game in which a world leader has just 12 hours to decide whether to launch a nuclear strike. Don't worry – the icon is a totally different colour to the Nuclear Button.

Angry Nerds

Customised version of popular game. Avatars resembling the Miliband brothers try to wreak revenge on the greedy pigs who stole their rightful place in government. The more they lose, the more you win!

BikeTracker2

Cool new app for all keen cyclists, which uses GPS technology to make sure the Range Rover with all your stuff in it doesn't lose you in traffic.

rMail

A selection of hilarious private emails sent by UK citizens, delivered daily from GCHQ.