It's a crime caper fit for all the family - yet there's more than a hint of menace. Set in the increasingly gentrified East End of London, where the professional classes rub shoulders with Cockney rogues, the new movie stars Sean Connery as a gang boss and Julie Walters as his safe-cracking wife.
Laugh at their colourful banter. Thrill as they race through gangland territory, hotly pursued by hitman Dai 'The Mad Hatter' Trilby, played by Anthony Hopkins.
The Oscar-tipped screenplay for Trouble And Strife has yet to be written, but a survey of British filmgoers' tastes reveals that it, or something very similar, would be the film most likely to break box-office records.
Its fail-safe formula is the result of a survey into British attitudes to film which was commissioned by Orange, sponsors of the Bafta awards, at the end of last year. Research among a national sample of adult cinemagoers has revealed that the most popular British male star of all time is Sean Connery. The Scottish veteran, who played James Bond seven times, beat Hopkins to the top spot. Hugh Grant secured a large number of female votes, and so wins a supporting role in our ideal British movie.
The country's most popular female star is Julie Walters, followed by Dame Judi Dench and Catherine Zeta-Jones.
The findings, to be released this week in advance of the nominations for the Bafta awards, show that British cinemagoers have an insatiable appetite for comedy above all other genres. They also believe British screen comedy is the best in the world. Women in particular said they went to the cinema to laugh - although their second choice for an evening's entertainment was a thriller.
Despite stereotypical assumptions, most female respondents show comparitively little interest in romance. Soppy plotlines were easily beaten into third place.
For men, the results were similar, although skewed slightly in the other direction: thrillers come top of the poll, with comedies a close second. Science fiction was the third most popular genre.
Thrillers appear to go down especially well with audiences in Lancashire, as well as appealing to those aged 20 or under. Just as puzzlingly, sci-fi films scored highly in the north-east of England.
As for specific films, recent British box office hits dominate the field. The Full Monty, Four Weddings and a Funeral and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels were jointly the most popular British films. Women tended to prefer The Full Monty, while Guy Ritchie's Lock, Stock was repeatedly cited by men as the best British film of all time.
But the emphasis is not all on the new. Ealing comedies score highly with older film fans. The Ladykillers, the 1955 black comedy starring Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers and Herbert Lom and directed by Alexander Mackendrick, is the single most popular film from Britain's cinematic history. Guinness, first seen as Herbert Pocket in David Lean's 1946 Great Expectations, is also chosen by a sizeable number of respondents as the best film actor of all time.
His fellow Ealing star Margaret Rutherford, who appeared in Passport to Pimlico, Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes and as Miss Marple in a series of popular whodunnits, is the most popular actress from the past.
But the public is clearly clamouring for Walters and Connery to be paired. Walters is currently filming the Harry Potter movie, but is likely to be attracted by The Observer's project - she joined Connery's fan club when she was 14.
When Michael Caine, Walters's co-star in Educating Rita, once introduced her to Connery, he is reported to have patted her bottom.
But the slap and tickle may have to end there: the film survey shows that 75 per cent of British cinemagoers do not want to see more sex on the screen.
