Cost of free
Britain will have her first £1bn internet company if the public flotation of Dixons' Freeserve offshoot lives up to the latest City expectations. Yet Freeserve, according to figures released this week, had revenues of only £2.7m in the eight months to May on which it made a loss of just over £1m. The consensus among the investment banks involved is that the fledgling company should be worth £1.9bn.
This valuation is based on the assumption that each customer is worth £1,500. The proposed sale of Freeserve is as unreal as some of the US internet stocks which - even after the reversals of the past few weeks are being rated bizzarely above any medium term profit potential. Freeserve, which dislodged America Online as the UK's number one internet service provider (ISP), could easily be itself dislodged by rivals offering free access or even paying people with internet money (right) to take their services. One recent UK ISP startup (themutual.com) offered the first users 10,000 free units in the company to get it off the ground. It claims 60,000 users have already registered.
Goodness knows what would happen if the Inland Revenue floated its operations in order to capitalise on its (captive) customer base.
Y3K
If you are still worrying about the Y2K problem then you are well out of date. Really wired-up analysts are forecasting what will happen in 3000. Morgan Stanley Dean Witter, the US investment bank reckons that in the year 3000 clothes may not need washing or ironing and everyday items will be bought almost instantaneously over the internet.
Clothes will be able to maintain body moisture and temperature, and deliver vitamins to the blood through the skin. The internet will be pervasive, connected to individuals through all-in-one, miniature units holding cell phone, organiser and pager, and integrated into clothing "to make Star Trek look positively prehistoric".
There is no mention of the Y3K bug - when 29th century programmers forgot to allow for a roll-over to a new century starting with the digits 30 - but let's not dwell on that now.
Honeytrap
People seriously concerned about Y2K problems are buying honey on the grounds that it is nutritious and almost unperishable. Sales are said to be soaring, particularly in the more sensitive parts of the US. We knew the millennium was going to prove a honey pot for someone.
