Ducks typically live to between five and 10 years, and pigs 10 to 20. You first appeared on screen in 1935 and 1937, which makes you 91 and 89 respectively. What’s your secret to your eternally youthful looks?
Daffy Duck: Firtht of all, it’s very rude to comment on a duck’s age. Thecond of all, thank you for noticing how youthful I look. My thecret is very thimple – moisturise daily, stay hydrated and tell the artist who draws you to take out any wrinkles.
Porky Pig: For me, it’s all about ex-ex-ex-ex-er – keeping fit. In my case that’s running, playing b-basketball and jumping out of the way of falling anvils.
You teamed up for Looney Tunes’ first-ever fully animated feature film. Were there any other Warner Brothers characters you’d have liked to join? Perhaps a cartoon rabbit? A canary? A coyote? A skunk?
DD: It’s a huge movie, but it’s still not big enough for me and the rabbit. There’s only room for one star, thupported by a loyal thidekick. A yeth man. A thtooge. Someone who knows people aren’t watching the movie to just see him …
PP: You know I’m right he-he-he – next to you, Daffy? Personally I would love to have more Looney Tunes pals with us – like when we did Space Jam. Maybe we could do a special toon version of The Traitors? Except I think we could easily guess who the tr-tr-tr – double-crosser would be!
DD: Why are you thtaring at me like that?
Your co-star Petunia Pig also holds her own. What other Hollywood leading lady would you most like to face an alien invasion with?
Porky: Well I must admit I have a little d-d-d – crush on that Syd-Syd-Sydney Sweeney.
Daffy: Jacob Elordi! That hair! Those dreamboat eyes!
Porky: Umm, Daffy, I think you’re mis-mis-misunderstanding the ...
Daffy: Cool it, pig! Get your own Hollywood beau!
The Day The Earth Blew Up is entirely hand-drawn. Haven’t the animators at Warner Brothers heard of CGI?
DD: Penthils will always be better than computers because you can’t put a computer behind your ear.
PP: I would like to be in a st-st-stop-motion movie like Wallace & Gromit.
DD: I don’t think I could hold thtill for that long. I like the motion part, but not the thtopping.
You both met the famous Warner Brothers voice artist Mel Blanc. What was he like?
DD: Very chatty. Wouldn’t thtop talking.
PP: A very inter-inter-inter – fascinating man. When he was speaking I felt like I couldn’t talk at all and had to just listen.
Does the idea of Peking duck, and pigs in blankets, scare or excite you?
DD: I would be very happy to go to China, I love the idea of being a Peking duck. Though we should really call it Beijing …
PP: [Whispers to Daffy]
DD: It’s whaaaaaat!? That’th dethpicable. Why do I get my skin slithed and eaten off, but you get to be wrapped up all cosy in a blanket?
PP: Pigs in blankets are sausages wrapped in b-b-bacon. It’s also food.
DD: That does sound delicious.
PP: Stop wrapping bacon around me!
Is it true that pigs don’t sweat and duck quacks don’t echo?
DD: I’ve fallen off enough cliffs and into enough canyons to tell you my quacks absolutely do echo … and so do my dethperate cries of anguish.
PP: I’m very happy not to sw-sw-sw – perspire. I like to stay sweet-smelling for my d-d-dear Petunia. Of course she doesn’t sweat either. So we save a fortune on d-d-d-deodorant.
Would you rather fight 100 pig-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?
DD: Why are we fighting any horses? Are they mad at us? What did we do to them? Like we don’t have enough natural enemies already – hunters, aliens and goofball rabbits!
PP: I d-d-d-don’t get it either. Shouldn’t the question be: 100 duck-sized pigs or one pig-sized duck?
DD: I am a pig-sized duck. Are you saying you want to fight me? Put ‘em up! I dare you! I’ll fight you and the horses!
PP: Oh brother – I wish I’d n-n-never said anything.
Do you ever worry about getting labelled “pig-ignorant” or “a sitting duck”?
DD: I do like thitting down, but it’s hard to relax with all the falling anvils. And as a duck of great intellect and mental proweth, it is impothible for me to be pig-ignorant. Why, how could I ignore Porky after all we’ve been through together? Also we live in the same house so he’s kinda hard to overlook.
PP: Yes, I obj-obj-obj – don’t like the term pig-ignorant. Pigs are highly intelligent.
DD: Oh yeah? If you’re so thmart, why do you let yourself taste so delicious when you’re sliced into bacon?
Well, that’s the end of the interview. Porky, would you like to do the honours? And Daffy … does it annoy you that Porky always has to have the last word?
DD: Oh, it doesn’t bother me, but there’s so much more to us than some thtupid catchphrase. In fact perhapth it would be better to end with me reciting a poem … “Hey nonny nonny, the duck is on the wing … fa-la-la-la-la, the duck begins to sing …”
PP: Sorry, Daffy, but th-th-th-that’s all folks!!!
DD: You’re dethpicable!
• The Day the Earth Blew Up is in UK and Irish cinemas 13 February and streams on Netflix in Australia and Max in the US
