As you will all be aware, the Oscars aren’t particularly fun. They are an overlong celebration of underwatched films that take place in a room where, by the end of the evening, the bulk of those present have been told that they aren’t good enough to win anything. The whole thing is excruciating.

But you know what’s much better than the Oscars? The annual Oscars nominees luncheon. This is when everyone who has been nominated gathers for a nice lunch. It isn’t televised, so nobody has to be on their best behaviour. No awards are handed out, so technically everyone invited is an equal. And, best of all, they take a class photo of everyone at the end.

This is brilliant because not only does it act as a snapshot of the great and good in any given year, but mainly because it is genuinely impossible to have that many people look completely normal at the exact moment in time. So with that in mind, here are the annual Oscars luncheon class photo awards for 2026.

Biggest showboater – Guillermo del Toro (front, centre)

When you look at an Oscars class, your eye is immediately drawn to the middle of the front row. Usually this is because this is where the greatest concentration of A-list talent clusters. However, this year it is because Guillermo del Toro – nominated for Frankenstein – has decided to act like a wacky usher at a wedding. Look at everyone else in the photo and you will see hundreds of people who aren’t sure what to do with their hands. Not del Toro, though, because he has opted to maniacally waggle them around like a 1920s showgirl. It gives the effect that this is del Toro’s party and everyone else is just a guest. Please also note that Paul Thomas Anderson appears to be holding him back, in case he makes a lunge for the cameraman.

Giantest man – Oliver Laxe (back row, tenth from left)

As is traditional with a group shot, all the tall people get shoved to the back so they don’t accidentally end up obscuring a famous actor with their hulking shoulders. This year, the back row included Joseph Kosinski and Stellan Skarsgård (both around 6ft 3in) and Jacob Elordi (around 6ft 5in). It had been assumed that Elordi, a veritable giraffe in the tiny world of Hollywood, would be the tallest person at the luncheon. But then in strode in Sirāt director Oliver Laxe, who has to be at least eight feet tall. Laxe is unstoppably huge, to the extent that he pulls focus from everyone but del Toro. If he’s nominated again next year, please let’s start a petition to hang all the other nominees off his colossal frame like a human mug tree.

Best disguised – Diane Warren (third row from back, second from left)

As someone who has dedicated her life to writing pretty good songs for forgettable movies purely so that she can attend the Oscars, you worry that the Oscars luncheon is one of the only times that Diane Warren actually leaves the house. Quite often, she maximises on this by dressing boldly. But in the year that she is nominated for Dear Me, from Diane Warren: Relentless, the documentary about her life, she has changed tactic.. She’s a bit more muted, her hair and outfit melding into her surrounding nominees. She is also slightly too short to stand out, to the extent that a layperson could be easily convinced that she’s trying to hide from the photographer. This won’t do. When she is inevitably nominated again next year, let’s hope she opts for a big yellow feathery hat as a counterbalance.

Most comfortable sense of self-worth – Ron Dyens (third row from back, third from left)

There are several stages to spotting Ron Dyens in the class photo. The first is where you notice that, while everyone else is dressed to the nines, he is wearing a cat T-shirt. The second is where you realise that the cat on his shirt is the cat from Flow, which won best animated feature last year. The third and final stage is where you realise that, wait a minute, Dyens produced Flow. He got the nod this year for the animated short film Butterfly, and literally came to the Oscars nominee luncheon wearing proof that he has already won an Oscar. The balls of the man, frankly. Hopefully this sets a new precedent whereby next year Leonardo DiCaprio comes dressed as the guy from The Revenant.

Weirdest audition for a Guardian byline photo – Ronald Bronstein (back row, 11th from right)

The co-writer of Uncut Gems and Good Time, and nominated this year for Marty Supreme, Ronald Bronstein will for ever be held in the greatest of respect. However, it has to be said that he spent the duration of the Oscars nominees luncheon class photo standing exactly – and I mean exactly – in the same way as Guardian journalists do when they’re posing for a byline photo. He’s dressed more smartly than usual. He’s pulling an expression that tries to be serious, curious and jaunty all at the same time (because you can’t predict the tone of the pieces you’ll write in the future). Most damningly of all, though, he is standing sideways while turning his head towards the camera. This is exactly how they make us do it at work! They have diagrams up and everything! Honestly, he could be Rafael Behr or Simon Jenkins or Polly Toynbee. The bigger question is why he is even doing this. Is it a tribute? Is he taking the piss? Is he coming for our jobs? We need to know.