We are Becca and Louise AKA UK theatre duo Sh!t Theatre, and as fringe theatre makers we are blessed with a life that does not have to be lived Chronically Online. There is no expectation that experimental performance artists must first build an audience on TikTok; everyone else in the arts is worried about AI taking their jobs, but we don’t have to worry – they’re only making AI of things people actually want, and nobody wants fringe theatre. They’re not coming for our “job” any time soon.
We live a happy life as luddites and we engage with the internet in the same way as we engage with MDMA: remembering it as something we did in our 20s that was fun but probably killed some of our brain cells. So, considering all of this – plus the fact we literally remember YouTube being invented and were there even before that when the internet was mostly dancing hamsters – here are our favourite online moments. Please enjoy.
1. Phantom of the Opera mouse
Ten years old but, very much like Andrew Lloyd Webber’s oeuvre, totally timeless. If you’re ever feeling sad about the state of mankind, treat yourself to reading the comments under Phantom Of The Opera Mouse; there is nothing but love.
2. Just normal innocent men
An essential piece of British culture. Hacker T Dog is the name of the puppet, and the man whose hand is inside Hacker T Dog has a story about being on a night out and getting arrested which is the basis of this clip. You can Google the details, but do you even need to? The snort. The corpsing. The puppet looking so pleased with himself. It’s perfect as it is.
3. #drummondpuddlewatch
More pure English entertainment, this is six hours of people trying to cross a quite large puddle in north-eastern UK. Millions of people in our country watched this. All day.
4. Man lives with pigeon on his head
A man lives with a pigeon on his head. It’s all very friendly, except the pigeon doesn’t like his wife. “Do you think there’s any answer to the problem?” asks the interviewer. “Not that I can see. If it was all in my head, I could see a psychiatrist. But it’s real.” Think we can all empathise with that statement.
5. Inhaling a creme caramel
A whole family effort, this one. The dad offers advice on camera angles. The mum is giving psychological support, and she’s right, you do have to be in the right frame of mind to inhale a whole creme caramel. Try watching this and then not attempting it yourself.
6. Tony gonna stand on an egg
Ever had a few drinks and then tried to stand on an egg and then accidentally headbutted the egg and knocked yourself out and then it turns out your loved ones filmed it and now you’re famous but not because you’ve achieved anything, but it’s because you smashed an egg with your head by accident? Asking for a friend. His name is Tony.
7. Jesus Christ in Richmond Park: original upload
This video is so old that Fenton the dog is surely long dead, but the fear this video gives us is still very alive. Becca’s dog once ran into a horse enclosure in North London and, while she was shouting for her dog to come back, an Italian tourist started filming and now Becca can’t ever go to Italy in case she’s a viral sensation.
8. Catch him Derry
An Irish family tries to catch a bat in their living room. 10/10. No notes.
9. Poko singing Totoro
This bird Poko singing the theme tune to My Neighbour Totoro is our joint most-watched video of all time. At 23 seconds, Poko the bird finishes singing. He cocks his head. He pauses. He begins again. The comic timing of this bird is impeccable and yet it also makes us want to cry.
10. Old man falls on escalator
And now, finally, we come to the original video. Of what? Of the internet. When the hamsters retired from dancing, this was all there was online and we miss those days. Please do not worry, no old men were harmed in the making of this classic. We hope he’s very rich.
Our show Sh!t Theatre, Or What’s Left Of Us is playing at the Sydney Fringe 17 to 27 September at the New Theatre and the Melbourne Fringe 1 to 4 October at Trades Hall. PS: RIP Fenton
