I can’t summarise my relationship to the internet in three paragraphs. In the time between getting my first Twitter account at 13 to the Meta online megaverse of 2024, the internet has developed into what can only be described as a million different languages. What once used to go viral in 2012 is swept away in today’s oversaturated and algorithmically rigged ocean. The iconic blue and black dress would barely get 20 likes in the cold hard light of El*n M*sk’s X.
Over the last 14 years I’ve downloaded and then deleted every social media app probably every 12 months. Sometimes I feel like a veteran of the internet, fluent in multiple dialects and a witness to the evolution of online humour, from the low-res theatrical nature of “oh my god shoes” to the candid charm of front-facing anecdotes like “demure”.
The things that have resonated with me during my time online aren’t necessarily designed to be hilarious, but more bizarre misinterpretations or chance interactions whose lore takes on a life of its own.
1. Megan Thee Stallion’s old tweets
This twilight saga is gonna take all these kids money! Now its a part 2 to breaking dawn! When will the shit end!!! Just fuck the wolf!
— TINA SNOW (@theestallion) November 21, 2011
A hugely underrated part of Megan Thee Stallion’s charm is her effortless sense of humour, as captured delightfully in her 15-year-old Twitter account. Her pre-fame tweets include candid musings on pop culture (the iconic “just fuck the wolf!”, as seen above), experiences at her old customer service job, and an ill-fated Miami trip.
2. Halsey accidentally calls for a second 9/11
if we’re sharing Pitchfork memories we can’t forget the time Halsey got pissed about a review and inadvertently wished for a second 9/11 to wipe out their staff pic.twitter.com/4nVgrDVmrB
— Pod Damn America (@youwouldntpost) January 17, 2024
At the beginning of 2020, musician Halsey received a bad review from Pitchfork for her latest album and like any true millennial/Gen Z cusp, she promptly subtweeted about her dissatisfaction: “will the basement that they run p*tchfork out of just collapse already”. Unbeknownst to her, the basement they run Pitchfork out of happens to be the new World Trade Center. Devoid of nuance as always, Twitter berated the singer for inciting terrorism and she immediately deleted her tweet. Instances like this are why I love the internet because what do you mean I get to type the sentence “Halsey accidentally calls for a second 9/11”.
3. John Early as Vicky with a V
John Early is one of the greatest comedic minds we have. I need to go to a Vicky with a V show and yell “LOOKING FOR MY DENIM.” I watched this clip four times while writing this.
4. Three cheeky whippets
A captivating and layered scene that will have you shocked at each reveal. Only one minute and 30 seconds in length, this slice-of-life home video is filled to the brim with unbelievable moments: the level of destruction to the mattress, the names of the dogs, the sigh of defeat (“my hat”) and the ultimate denouement: “Who wants a neck?”
5. Azealia Banks saying “so … what now?”
If you’ve talked to a gay person under 35, there is a high chance you’ve heard the words “so … what now?” uttered in an identical cadence to Azealia Banks in this video. This clip is a perfect example of everything that makes Azealia so intriguing as a public figure: the sharpest bob known to man, Edna Mode frames, boobs somehow defying gravity, body language making everyone in the room on edge and speaking with such frankness that no one knows how to respond.
This is a classic comedy of errors with the random producer becoming defensive at being called the gay intern, the failed attempt at creating drama when Azealia says she does in fact make music for gay people, topped off with the awkward silence before her infamous utterings: “So … what now?” Lynchian and effortless.
6. Aus Crave
.@Jackie_O strenuously denies lesbian allegations.
— Aus Crave (@AusCrave) August 2, 2024
After a suggestive story which appeared to debut her relationship with P.E Nation founder @Pip_Edwards1, the radio rambler says the close but non-loving pair were having deep conversations when a rainbow appeared. pic.twitter.com/GOnGExjWw9
An unofficial offshoot of the pop culture Twitter/X account Pop Crave, Aus Crave gives you all the tea on Australian micro-celebrities told through the bizarre hallmarks of Daily Mail descriptions. The Aus Crave admins will always find the most niche way to refer to our Aussie darlings – with Toni Collette referred to as both a “five-time AACTA award winner” and “serial yes woman”.
7. Jenny Slate confusing astronomy and astrology
There is truly no talkshow anecdote better than this. Stoned as hell at uni thinking you’re signing up for astrology while in reality getting locked into an astronomy class – and somehow making it everyone else’s fault that you don’t know what’s going on. Perfect.
8. Wendy Williams v The Killer
I mourn the absence of Wendy Williams in the last few years, and more specifically, the lack of updates on her plight against this being she claims to be constantly lurking in the shadows – one she calls “The Killer”. According to Williams, The Killer has no restraint and will attack as soon as you have your guard down. Is The Killer one person? Unknown. Is The Killer human? Unsure. Wendy says she has been “aware of The Killer since birth”, with the nonchalance of someone stating an obvious fact, so perhaps we should be too.
9. Tokyo Toni saying “well, yes!”
Another essential text for gay people under 35. Tokyo Toni (mother of Blac Chyna) is at a nondescript red carpet event talking about recently coming out as bisexual, when she is asked if she thinks that a man giving another man fellatio is gay. She responds with the two words heard at gay bars all around the world: “Well, yes!”
That refrain on its own changed the course of linguistic history, but the second half of this video also merits a mention. A mere 10 seconds after celebrating her bisexuality, Toni goes on to say that bisexuality does not exist, and she is gay. Sexuality is confusing and we come to terms with our labels at our own pace. I’ll always hold space for your journey Toni. Well, sorta kinda.
10. Brian Jordan Alvarez
No one, and I mean NO ONE, is doing it like Brian Jordan Alvarez. His Instagram, Twitter/X and YouTube are a treasure trove of characters, songs, series and sketches that are so ridiculous and so distinctively him. Some of my personal favourites include: the “welt” intern, Erik at the salon, TJ Mack and his son, and the rich Southern aunt. In fact, there are so many characters and storylines that Vulture has an article explaining the BJA universe. Stream English Teacher on Disney+!
Lucille MacKellar is a comedian and writer from Sydney. You can catch her solo show Lucille MacKellar Has Boy Problems at The Factory theatre on Friday 22 and Friday 29 November.
