The original intent behind the @OzKitsch Twitter account was to have a laugh at cringey aspects of Australian life, like concrete koala letterboxes and Ned Kelly bottle openers. There’s certainly no shortage of material.

But its purpose has evolved over time. Instead of simply wincing at the olden days or wallowing in nostalgia, it seeks to examine aspects of everyday life that we have seem to have forgotten, either by accident or design: everything from regional beauty contests, monuments that were never built, and high school war cries, to Menzies’ fleeting admiration for Hitler, quack cures for the Spanish flu, and the musical stylings of Alan Jones.

It also looks at the way the world sees us and asks penetrating questions like: when did they stop playing the national anthem at the movies? How badly did “Smellbourne” pong in the 1880s? Where do the Blakeney twins sit in the pantheon of Australian popular music? And is Canberra really necessary? (Answer: no).

In its slightly cock-eyed way, it draws on the past to illuminate the present. Not so much celebrating our island story as regurgitating it with flecks of carrot and spittle.

1. The love songs of Alan Jones

Every January, OzKitsch curates The Coldest 100 musical countdown, a tin-eared antidote to the Triple J’s Hottest 100. Musical talent is not a prerequisite and yet its popularity grows with each passing year. At one point this year it was the No 1 trending topic on Twitter. Have people no taste? Evidently.

Here’s a recent chart topper.

2. This Facebook account devoted to poor masonry in Melbourne

There used to be an ad campaign exhorting Australians to strive for excellence, warning them that “near enough is not good enough”. Patently the brickies of Melbourne didn’t get the memo.

3. Bernard King Crayfish Park advertisement

There’s a thesis to be written about forgotten tourist attractions and why they fell out of favour. Crayfish Park on the Gold Coast was the crustacean equivalent of Bullen’s African Lion Safari except that you could eat the exhibits.

4. Norman Swan conspiracy theory

Remember the conspiracy theory that claimed Victoria’s CMO Brett Sutton was not a real doctor? Comedy writer James Colley got there first. Except his observation was and remains true.

Norman Swan not even a real swan

— James Colley (@JamColley) March 20, 2020

5. Johnny the Monkey Farm Hand

The farm labour shortage is hitting hard. The ABC’s Weekend Magazine has the solution: employ more monkeys.

6. Kingaroy Peanut Festival Queen

The patron saint of OzKitsch. Once upon a time every city, town and sector of the economy had its own beauty contest. The first peanut festival Queen, Moya Hayden, pictured here atop the peanutmobile, was the mother of the cricketer Matthew Hayden. Honourable mention goes to Miss Trade Union, the Myrtleford Tobacco Queen, and the Ampol VFL Football Girl of the Week.

7. Wangaratta is alive and doing well

Public service announcement reminding viewers that north-eastern Victoria is not dead yet. Nick Cave once remarked that the “horrible misery” of Wangaratta inspired his artistic vision. This advertisement might have tipped him over the edge.

8. Russell Told Me So

In the 1980s, Channel Nine commissioned a jingle, “Brian Told Me So”, to promote its newsreaders in Sydney and Melbourne. Just as well they were both named Brian. Perth, of course, had to be different. Check out the early 80s styles and newsreader Russell Goodrick’s magnificently tonsured helmet head.

9. Sherbet’s Howzat sung in German

Australian music has made a big splash on the world stage but often in ways you wouldn’t expect, from the Russian language version of Shaddap You Face to a handful of renditions of Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport in Japanese. But no one can murder a pop song like the Germans.

10. When the Ghost Who Walks met the Emperor of Lang Park

Evildoers beware.

Andrew Sholl is curator of @OzKitsch on Twitter