Like so many women, Lost in Showbiz often looks at Tom Cruise and thinks: he’s lovely, but he’s just not intense enough for me. If only he committed a little more of himself to things. If only he could come across more focused, more piercingly engaged, more consumingly connected to his every personal action.

Happily, the Daily Mail this week resurrected a forgotten interview with Tom, in which he explains how to get his body. Not literally get it – I believe it is beyond being got, having been purged of negative thetans and whatnot by decades of Scientology. But how to achieve it. In short, it showcases how hard Tom has striven to have Earth’s best answer to the casual question: “So … what d’you do to keep fit?”

His reply begins: “Sea-kayaking, caving, fencing, treadmill, weights, rock-climbing, hiking …”

Of course, the list goes on far beyond this. But he had me at “caving”. I would expect nothing less from a star who enlivened a 2013 court deposition by suggesting that film location shoots were like tours of Afghanistan. “Certainly, on this last movie, it was brutal,” Cruise declared, before offering a glimpse of the unparalleled physicality of his work. “A sprinter for the Olympics, they only have to run two races a day. When I’m shooting, I could potentially have to run 30, 40 races a day, day after day.”

Clearly, the caving/fencing interview predates the Afghanistan/Olympic sprinter stuff, and I’d like to think that some enterprising person with several hours to kill might feel it’s time to press Tom for the sequel to the old keep-fit question once more. I’m picturing an answer that would include – but obviously not be limited to – activities such as bikram cage-fighting, heli-powerlifting, galley slavery and one tour of Liberia. “It was only a peacekeeping mission, but you do get this incredible definition with the accessory muscles.”