Based on the first of a series of novels by Douglas Lindsay, Robert Carlyle’s directing debut stars the actor as a hapless Glasgow barber caught up in a farcical imbroglio involving a plague of severed body parts. Shot with brio by Fabian Wagner, designed with an anachronistic 50s/60s look, and with a similarly retro soundtrack steeped in whammy-bar guitar, Barney Thomson strains after more fun than it can manage. Either Carlyle as Barney, permanently a-quiver with panic, doesn’t have a funny bone, or he just can’t direct himself funny. Ray Winstone’s irascible English copper all but blows steam out of his ears, and Ashley Jensen chews whatever scenery hasn’t already been trampled. Improbably redeeming the overall mirthlessness is Emma Thompson, briskly profane as Barney’s elderly, foul-mouthed ma – hard as drywall nails, with skin the leathery texture of sun-dried tomatoes.