Viral video chart: Simon’s Cat woos Generic Female, as Buscemi does Fifty Shades

Simon’s Cat tries to woo Generic Female Cat with a special present

This week’s viral video chart was going to be a cinch. BDSM is turning respectable middle class folk the world over into raving sex fiends, apparently, so just bang up a load of Fifty Shades clips and watch the internet fall over under the strain of taut leather and horsewhips.

But no. Sadly for this correspondent the Guardian’s web supremos have put the nipple clamps on any more poorly written, traffic-whoring blogs with a tantalising headline. Because it makes us look lowbrow. So you won’t find any Fifty Shades mentions here. No sir-ree. (Well, not until the fifth paragraph anyway – there’s only a finite supply of videos NOT featuring handcuffs or that sodding “look at how sultry I can sing it” cover of Crazy Right Now.)

So we kick off with the week’s other big event – Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air. And for cutesy Simon’s Cat, butterflies too are in the air, as he tries to woo Generic Female Cat with a special present. But like all guys who try to think outside the box for a Valentine’s gift, it inevitably backfires. Should have got her a voucher, Simon’s Cat!

Do you remember Serial? You know, the podcast where we all got dead interested in the case of Adnan Syed and a potential miscarriage of US justice? Well This American Life, the team behind Serial, are feeling all lovey this week. Their Videos 4 U strand helped a Chicago woman called Maia finally say I love you to her boyfriend of eight years, Alex. It’s lovely stuff, made very well. And you can watch Alex’s reaction here.

Now we finally turn to the week’s Unignorable Sexy Movie, as the USM’s beautiful young sexperimenters tour the US late night shows performing skits into camera. Here, Jamie Dornan tries his hand at accents, including Scottish and rural Irish. While Jimmy Fallon gets a very game Dakota Johnson to turn everyday phrases into filth-loaded sex lozenges.

We’ve had the Star Wars trailer in Lego, so why on earth shouldn’t we have the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer in Lego? Of course we should, so here it is – with more than 4m YouTube views so far.

Jamie Dornan not your cup of tea? If you’d rather have the full Fifty Shades experience from Steve Buscemi, this brilliant clip is doing the rounds.

Barack Obama is cool isn’t he? He may not be able to close Guantanamo Bay, but he can sure publicise his major domestic policy achievement, Obamacare. Here he appeals directly to the BuzzFeed generation with a skit involving shades and a selfie-stick.

Fresh from beating Andy Murray in the Australian Open final, Novak Djokovic has a lot to smile about. And, as this clip shows, he’s enjoying his tennis more than ever as he looks after a ball boy during a change of ends.

We finish up this week’s roundup with a snore-soundtracked paper plane, and the sight of a woman getting out of her wrecked car to land a couple on the outlaw driver that crashed into the back of her.