1. From which celebrity autobio­graphy is the following scintillating passage taken? “ I did, in fact probably more than anybody else I’d ever met, like cheese and it hadn’t gone unnoticed ... I always liked to keep an eye on the cheese situation at large when I was on the move … tracking and eating obscure types of cheese. Cheese was on the rider. Cheese was de rigueur. Cheese was what I like a lot. I said to Paddy, ‘Yes, I do like cheese.’”

   1. Cheryl: My Story by Cheryl Cole

   2. What You See Is What You Get by Alan Sugar

   3. Behind Enemy Lines: The Auto­biography of Britain’s Most ­Decorated Living War Hero by Sir Tommy Macpherson and Richard Bath

   4. My Time: An Autobiography by ­Bradley Wiggins

   5. All Cheeses Great And Small by Alex James

2. This year, Lost in ­Showbiz reported that ­Steven Seagal was the ­subject of a lawsuit. What did the lawsuit allege?

   1. Paternity of a 12-year-old boy

   2. Injuring a paparazzo while leaving an LA nightclub

   3. Infringing a ­patent with his new line of keep-fit equipment

   4. Killing a puppy after driving a tank into an Arizona farm, accompanied by a bomb robot, a full SWAT team and a canine unit, in the course of ­busting a cockfighting ring

   5. Injuring a patient’s bunion while training as a podiatrist

3. Solange Knowles this year made the news in conjunction with F Scott Fitzgerald’s 1925 novel The Great Gatsby. Why?

   1. She read a passage from it that ­appeared to criticise a life of unfettered wealth at the christening of her niece, Blue Ivy Carter

   2. She used a copy as lavatory paper after urinating

   3. She’s planning to release an R&B concept album based on it

   4. She compared it unfavourably to the lyrics of her track Some Things Never Seem to Fucking Work

   5. She quoted it in a blog on Vogue’s website about a pair of Zara trousers

4. Which member of the Coronation Street cast was alleged to have had sex with so many women, he earned the nickname “Cock”?

   1. Nigel “Cock” Havers

   2. Charlie “Cock” Condou

   3. Anthony “Cock” Cotton

   4. Craig “Cock” Charles

   5. William “Cock” Roache

5. In February, an audience at a London venue became so angry that the show they were watching was temporarily halted and an appeal for calm broadcast. Why?

   1. A show by One Direction had been interrupted to deliver results from the Olympics

   2. Guns N’ Roses took the stage four hours late

   3. Carmen Electra had replaced Amanda Holden on Britain’s Got Talent

   4. Louis Walsh reportedly said “you ­really made that song your own” for the 47th time in two hours

   5. Boris Johnson came on stage with rapper Ne-Yo

6. To whom was it revealed Kevin Costner had offered the “dignified, smart, sexy, funny” lead role in The Bodyguard 2?

   1. The late Amy Winehouse

   2. The late Whitney Houston

   3. The late Princess Diana

   4. The late Donna Summer

   5. The late Elizabeth Taylor

7. The shadow education minister Sharon Hodgson MP posed with which walking advertisement for the efficacy of education this year?

   1. Stephen Fry

   2. Alex “The Reidernator” Reid

   3. Carol Ann Duffy

   4. Mary Beard

   5. Alain de Botton

8. It was revealed this year that Brad Pitt had received what as a Christmas gift from Angelina Jolie?

   1. A waterfall in northern California

   2. Top Gear: The Greatest Driving ­Anthems In The World! CD

   3. Straight Up: My Autobiography by Danny Dyer

   4. A year’s course in Rinzai Zen teaching

   5. An adopted penguin called Ricky the Rockhopper at London Zoo

9. How was it alleged that Kate Moss had greeted Gwyneth Paltrow at Philip Green’s birthday party?

   1. A Masonic handshake

   2. Shouting “eat some carbs” and throwing crisps at her

   3. The Cambodian “sampeah” greeting

   4. A kung-fu “horse” stance

   5. Nazi salute

10. Killers’ frontman Brandon Flowers was questioned aggressively about his Mormon faith on a chatshow by whom?

    1. Richard Dawkins and Polly Toynbee

    2. Richard Dawkins and Robin Ince

    3. Richard Dawkins and Brian Cox

    4. Richard Dawkins and Bjorn from Abba

    5. Richard Dawkins and Frida from Abba

11. A Cannes photoshoot promoting Kelly Brook’s appearance in Keith Lemon: The Movie was disrupted how?

    1. A lovestruck French millionaire storming on set and offering her €1m to sleep with him

    2. A delegation from Cahiers du Cinéma protesting at the very existence of Keith Lemon: The Movie

    3. An existential crisis on the part of Brook brought about by the very existence of Keith Lemon: the Movie

    4. Comedian Leigh “Keith Lemon” Francis arriving in character as Keith Lemon

    5. A hoax bomb threat, purportedly from al-Qaida

12. Forbes this year voted whom as The World’s Most Powerful Star?

    1. Jay-Z

    2. Beyoncé

    3. Craig “Cock” Charles

    4. Gary Barlow OBE

    5. Jennifer Lopez

Solutions

1:E, 2:D, 3:B, 4:E, 5:C, 6:C, 7:B, 8:A, 9:B, 10:D, 11:A, 12:E

Scores

1. 0 and above.

   Very poor. Typical highbrow broadsheet reader

2. 4 and above.

   Could do better. Time to catch up on your back issues of OK! and Now

3. 8 and above.

   You're a showbiz insider. Who's your agent?